Aspergers friend. .. please advise

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Wondering if anyone can help

. I know little of Aspergers/Autism but I have a friend who I suspect is maybe thus. If I list some symptoms , am wondering if anyone can agree that their behaviour is on the spectrum so we can point our friend in the right direction for help?

This male person always wears a hat apart from in work . They have a slight bounce to their gait. They like strong tastes such as marmite and coffee that is literally just thick paste with an inch of water . They are left handed and handwriting quite child like . They always have the same rather flat expression and tone . They tend to repeat phrases. They appear to have little emotional reaction to anything and talk always about themselves . There is no real empathy towards others . They are very awkward in social situations and avoid them as they say this makes them tense . They are anxious and on anti depressants. As a baby they were quite premature. They are interested in weird random subjects and cannot socialise properly . Very guarded . .Dislikes being touched . But maintains good eye contact . Disappears lunchtimes to stand on a corner watching people. 

Does any of this collectively suggest aspergers? Intelligent and proficient in work . Tends to shut themselves in their room outside work with no girlfriend or real friends.canbe quite childish in manner and perculiarily old in others . Strange eating habits .. daddy eater . Change of work routine throws them off kilter . Tends to copy interests of others .

Any suggestions greatfully received thank you .

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  • Posted

    Is this particular friend a potential love interest? Not that it matters, but if so, you’re more attuned to his behavior.  I’ve been dating a man for 3 year I suspected off the bat with similar characteristics.  The most frustrating part was wondering if he knew he was.  Best thing I could’ve done was to research and get as many books as I could.  Turned out he didn’t know and at age 62, I was shocked that no one ever brought it to his attention.  I gave him one of the books on getting a very late diagnosis and he seemed grateful. 
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  • Posted

    Hi Hazel.

    I was finally diagnosed with ASD (Aspergers's) on the 4th of October this year!

    I am 52 years old and I suspected 17 years ago when my son was diagnosed with it at age 4.

    Through observing his behaviors I realized that I had exhibited the same behaviors as a child.

    And much of these behaviors continued in to adulthood right to the present day!

    This left me with the long battle to access the right services to get a proper diagnosis.

    And I had to wait a very long time as various GP's were reluctant for a very long time to offer a referral to the right services for adult diagnosis.

    All that being said, sadly I have realized that Asperger's has played a dominant role and has affected every relationship that I have ever had.

    Even though I knew I have had it for a very long time, I still have the shock of coming to terms with it and all that it means, including what it might mean for the future? Which is quite scary.

    For you and for other people who are close to or care for someone with Asperger's , I can say for sure that Asperger's is so difficult to live with as so many people still don't recognize it nor understand it, as it is primarily a social condition and affects how we interact with other people and the world, often we feel very isolated and shut off from the rest of society and how others cope with the world and their social interactions, we simply don't feel part of it often which can be very lonely.

    We seem to live by other rules that don't conform to society's norms!

    This can be very challenging indeed to live with for other people.

    My true thoughts are that all the characteristics that you have described about your friend would definitely point to Asperger's and are some of the traits that are used in the diagnosis of ASD, Aspergers.

    What can you do? If you truly care for this person, who is a human being remember! I would say support them as best you can and encourage them to get tested for ASD, as a formal diagnosis will help them realize and see how their behaviors might affect other people, it will also benefit him in a myriad of ways in relation to social situations and other people being aware and a little more sensitive to his condition.

    I hope you can understand that although he may have asperger's and may exhibit strange behaviors deep down within him he has feelings, simply they may not be in the right order as most of society, however he is a human being with great potential and should be included and accepted in life.

    If you would like to know more please get in touch.

    With kind regards, Kyle.

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