At last a good day

Hey Shadow

Yay - so pleased you had a good day yesterday.

Its great to hear you more positive.

Don't worry about flattening out slightly - that happens.

Hope today has been good as well

Girl

8)

hi peeps, this is my first post, stumbled in here by accident from the EMISaccess portal :cheers:

grats on your new RE-found freedom shadow and loooooooo to you too gurrrrrrrrrrl :ok:

i too have just started coming out of a 5 month major depressive episode shadow, its so easy to not be able to 'remember' any good/enjoyable experiences in the past when in the depths of this indiscriminate evil affliction grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :?

i've had recurrent episodes of genetic major depression for 40+ years and knowing all about it through personal experience doesn't help one little bit when in the depths of despair, whether through meds, cognitive therapy, support blah blah blah, this bitch takes its own time to go back to sleep again, the GOOD news is that the bitch ALWAYS does eventually wooooooooooot:D

be carefull not to do too much at a time shadow and be prepaired to 'take one step forward and 2 steps back' thats the nature of the beast, take it one day at a time :wink: start a mood log/diary, jot down just a couple of lines a day about how your feeling, ESPECIALLY the GOOD days and any tasks you have completed (by looking back at it you can see in black and white how much you are improving), DONT beat yourself up for not completing tasks you set youself and DO be realistic when setting personal goals :whistle:

as with any other serious ILLNESS we need time to completely recover from it, i know its not easy, but be patient and above all, DO NOT make any life changing decissions whilst you are ill, but once recovered enough perhaps its time to see if there is anything major that needs changing in your life to make your life better, if there is, go for it, dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo it !!!!!!!!!!! :wink:

anyhooooooooooooos enough of my ramblings, hang in there peeps and take care, lifes a bitch and then we die lol, treat it with the contempt its deserves lol :roll: O_o

Thaks guys,

Girl u was right have flattened out again, so anoyed with self.

Im a bit of an all or nothin, perfectionist and all thoes down falls.

Think i have a couple of good days (as its been so long since i have) and think im cured.

Then i set self masive tasks and want 2 do everyting and its not happening so then i get anoyed and c me as failed and the negative starts again.

I so wish i could meet half way.

Enough about me how u all doin? Is it me or is every1 not as chatty as they use 2 b. Hope u all ok.

Melbi is missed.

Take care all and stay safe.

Hi Shadow

Do feel like people not on here as much as previously. Agreed - Melbi is certainly missed. :cry: I feel bad cause haven't posted much myself but just can't face it sometimes - if you know what I mean.

Try not to get annoyed cause you can't do everything straight away, or as fast as you want to. I get exactly the same, oh how annoying it is. Disheartening as well. Guess just have to enjoy the good days but remember to be easy on self. Thinking about it from an illness perspective it makes more sense - ie Someone who has had a heart bypass will feel better soon after the operation but they can take a year to actually be back to health. In the same way we can feel better but may not actually be ready to tackle everything on the same levels as we might expect.

Hope that makes sense.

Anyway good to hear from you and glad things going sort of ok at the moment.

Take it easy and keep in touch

Girl

2day made a total prat of myself with my therapist and i dont think she was 2 happy.

I have totaly lost the plot no seace of time days who or wot i am ware i should be or anythin ( runnin 2 weeks behind head runnin 1000 miles an hour not remember or able 2 think straight so restless anxious dont no ware i am) turned up wrong day wrong time 4 therapist, am in a right state wot goin on.

Does this happen 2 any1 else?. :oops:

[quote:bbc6c62abb=\"shadow\"]2day made a total prat of myself with my therapist and i dont think she was 2 happy.

I have totaly lost the plot no seace of time days who or wot i am ware i should be or anythin ( runnin 2 weeks behind head runnin 1000 miles an hour not remember or able 2 think straight so restless anxious dont no ware i am) turned up wrong day wrong time 4 therapist, am in a right state wot goin on.

Does this happen 2 any1 else?. :oops:[/quote:bbc6c62abb]

hi again shadow :cheerup:

yep no probs, a couple of weeks back i looked out for my care co-ordinator (psychiatric nurse) all day as my front door bell is broken, i ummed and arred whether to ring her office to see if id got the appointment wrong, but decided against it (i couldnt find the piece of paper i'd written the date and time of the appointment on) anyhoooooooos i decided to ring the following day and yep i'd got it wrong and she was due to visit that day, consequently i beat myself up over getting it 'wrong' even tho in retrospect i know now it was no big deal really :? dont forget shadow these peeps are used to dealing with peeps like us and are payed to do just that, so dont think you have upset he/she by getting the date wrong, it happens all of the time

put it this way, when were not ill we do stupid stuff all of the time and think nothing about it, how many times have you put, say, coffee into a cup of tea when you meant to put sugar in, i for one have done similar stuff loads of times, we just shrug it off and make another cuppa and think nothing about it, dont we ?? :oops:

the trouble is when we're ill with depression, perspective goes 'outa the window', we cant decide what's important and what's not important, in my own case EVERYTHING is MEGA important and i get bogged down in a vicious loop beating myself up over trivial events in my life and whilst the incessant 'chatter' goes on in my head, 'real time' events pass me by and i get more and more confused and anxious which leads me inevitably to thinking i'm totally losing the plot :shock:

i hope im making sense to you shadow, because as i said earlier, im just starting to come out of a 5 month + major episode.

after having to deal with this evil lifelong illness (its mainly genetic in my case) and knowing whats happening to me doesnt help one little bit when im in the depths of despair im afraid grrrrrrrrrrrrr and at the moment i too am experiencing a relapse after getting a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel a week or so back, i know it sounds crass but time ALLWAYS takes care of this affliction, all be it when im poorly it seems to take forever, trust me, ive been here many times before and i detest it, but knowing time will take care of it IS helping me now, im still living a day at a time, its as simple as that, im existing not living, im in limbo till this evil affliction decides to go back to sleep, try to have patience shadow, live it a day at a time and see it for what it is, a REAL illness, its as *cough simple (not) as that :wink:

keep us posted, keep trucking and good luck, hang on in there :cheers:

Ken~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi Shadow

Yep, that's happened to me recently too. Had doc's appt and was surprised he wasn't at the surgery - that's because duh brain here got the wrong day despite having it written down. Don't know what day it is sometimes.

Am on week 15 of fluoxetine. As physcochief said - this is happening with amazing (isn't it annoying when you can't remember what you were going to say mid sentence) ah yes .....regularity.

Don't know if it's the drugs or the damned illness that sparks off these episodes. I know that we sufferers feel far worse/embarrassed than those on the receiving end though. I wouldn't worry about the therapist - they are used to it.

Hows things with you today?

Best wishes. x

Hi all.The other day I was in a corner shop waiting for the kids to choose their sweets.I was minding my own buisiness looking around and I noticed 2 large Kitkat easter eggs on the side.I had delivered some eggs to a friends house a couple of days previous to that because I was fed up with them being in the house as I kept eating them and then had to keep going and re-buying them.Anyhow I am waffling.I turned to a lady waiting at the door and said \"Look at the price of them.You would have thought that they would have reduced them by now\".The woman just smiled as if she knew what I was talking about.Basically because I had delivered some eggs early I had forgotten that we had not had Easter yet.Bearing in mind we do the egg hunt with the kids,special dinner, church and all that.Now this worried me alot as I only realised the next day when I saw an Easter advert on T.V.I am sooooo forgetful and can never finish a converstion.Slow is not the word.Hope this makes you all feel better. :D Take care guys.xx

Hi Meganpooch, i think its someting 2 do with the ilness that confusses us and the 4getfullness, i no it is 4 me i get that much in head and then it starts rushin round at 1000 miles hour and just mushes up (a bit like over whipping cream).

Then i have bouts at the other end of the scale feelin flat and numb and no good 2 any1 and tryin2 work out wot my reason 4 being here is, am goin through tis at moment.

Im not on top of world but im not suicidal or cuttin myself 2 shreds its hard 2 explain.

Hi girl i no wot u mean i sometimes cant bring myself 2 post even if i want 2, most of the time i dont no how 2 say wot i mean and worried of saying the wrong thing.

Hope all is ok take care stay safe.

well sod it, ive festered enough, its a lovely day and im going for a beer or two (only a couple mind you), sod the expense and anxiety, 'give the cat a goldfish' woooooooooot :cheerup:

i might feel guilty about it tomorow but so what, tough eh ?? ive beat this bitch many times before, so whats new !!!!!!

take care peeps, im off for an adventure, im sick of the same old record over and over again, to quote a rock band :- \"theres plenty of time for sleeping when im dead\" !!!!!!!!!! Banzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii :cheers:

Hi Shadow,

Have you had problems with forgetfulness ever before? Because it CAN be a side effect of the tablets, but it does not have to be, by no means.

For me, it is one of the indicators, that I am getting worse again. Started group therapy a month ago and didn't take to it lightly. Started feeling lower and so on... but what convinced me, that something is going wrong in my head was forgetfulness. The feeling when you return to your bike with your shopping and you can't find the bloody @%\"*~ key (my lock just snaps shut, no key necessary)! Aiee...

When it happened to me three times in a fortnight, I knew, I am definitely too preoccupied, as you said, head racing at ludicrous speed, being everywhere and nowhere at once - but definitely not HERE! As we say in German - if the head wasn't attached to my body, I'd forget it (boy, how I wish at times).

So how are things by now?

All the best,

Heidi

(P.S. You ahd a posting about going out on the bike for a long ride and then being down soon after - I thought, no wonder. If I had a low period with no exercise, then rush out, all exhiliarated to be out at last, I often have a low one afterwards. As my partner says \"It's called exhaustion, baby\".) :-)

Psychochief,

you use them loads - how do I import and emoticon into a text? All I ever manage is this:

Thanks,

Heidi

hiya Heidi :cheerup:

tis simple young missy, when composing your reply in the text editor, underneath the emoticons to the left, click on 'view more emoticons' a new window/tab opens (depending on which browser your using) bingo !!!! theres more there now 'than you can shake a stick at' lol :wink:

cheers,

Ken ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :cheers: :rainbow: :rose:

Hi Heidi,i no wot your sayin about the bike and it could of come across as being exhausted and the reason 4 the drop BUT while im pedaling the head is not thinkin about everyting else.

I find the bike my life line weather i go 1, 10, 30 miles a day this is when i feel most motivated.

The problems start ween i stp and try 2 turn off or relax.

I have been a sufferer of depression for 20 years but only accepted help in the last 4 years after a total mental and pysical break down.

Im still havin mainly bad days but when i have the good days i feel its someting 2 celebrate as i cant remember the last time i did b4 the bike ride.

I am a very active person and 2 b not goin at a million miles an hour i beat myself up, and exercise, motivation is good 4 depression and i am also aware it is hard 2 get motivated.

Regardin the 4getfullness like i said is down 2 the ilness i think and the fact that my head is racing more often than not or so my therapist says.

I c my therapist twicce a week and my gp once a week mainly 4 my own safty and all of us agree its 4 the best at the moment.

Thats enough about me and remember we r all in ths 2gether no1 has 2 b on there own.

Every1 take care stay safe and strong.