At the end of my rope and depressed

Posted , 6 users are following.

My first fissure occurred in 2010 after a horrific bowel movement. After struggling with my GP for a year, she finally sent me to a specialist. He said it was a fissure and gave me nifedipine. At the time I was going through a hugely stressful time in my life. My 85-year-old father was dying of colon cancer (which of course made me freak out more).

The nifedipine worked and for a long time I was fissure-free. I started having short recurrence in 2015 and one bad one at the end of 2016, It's been on and off since then. I have times where a month or two go by with no problems and then it's back for 3-6 months.

I have a new GP and she's given me nitroglycerin ointment. I've been on it now for just shy of three weeks but not much has changed. I had a bloody bowel movement three days ago and it's been bleeding since (although today was just a small bit of blood)

I do the following:

I take magnesium about 400mg a day

A digestive enzyme (it has helped keep my stool soft)

Sitz baths (although I admit I'm not in a routine yet)

Trying to eat nothing bad (I've cut out red meat to next to nothing and no dairy)

Nitro ointment twice a day

I've now added Vitamin C

Drinking at least 2-3 litres of water per day

I will be adding zinc ointment around the opening for healing

I use a squatty potty

Itchiness has been a huge problem, but I now keep a tissue between my butt cheeks to ward off moisture.

The worst thing for me is the blood. I can handle the pain, even when it lasts the whole day, but my fissure generally bleeds when it erupts. Even a moderately hard stool will cause pain and bleeding so unless my stool is soft, it's going to bleed and hurt.

Right now I'm going through a very stressful time. I sold my house and moved in with my partner. We have done a lot of renovations and the whole ordeal has left me anxious and likely depressed. Our family business is also failing and it's putting strain on the lives of all of us. If I could, I'd stay in bed.

Here are some questions I'd love answers to if anyone can share your experiences.

Did the nirto ointment work and how long did you use it? Did you have setbacks along the way? My GP gave me no indication so I found online a course of six weeks twice a day and six wees once a day.

I get so nervous before my bowel movements. Any advice to offer?

The bleeding is part of having a fissure, but any advice on how to deal with it emotionally?

Does anyone else want to cry and stay in bed when they see blood/have pain?

I really have no joy in my life right now. I struggle along to make it seem like I'm okay, but this fissure is controlling my life. What happens in the morning dictates what happens throughout the day.

Any advice or support would be greatly welcome!

0 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • Posted

    yes weve all been in bed rocked and cried

    blood is ok

    try poo in the sitz bath that worked for me

    the cream i still use once a day and im


    canesten for the itch

    laxido is a must to keep bowels loose to heal

    • Posted

      Thank you for that idea. I didn't think of that (going to the bathroom in the sitz bath).

      And yes, there has been a lot of tears.

      Thank you for you reply and your ideas. I will try them.

  • Posted

    Hi Molly,

    I am really sorry for you and I can feel your pain.Let me tell you my experience:

    So i have been misdiagnose with piles by the nhs and I thought I had piles for almost 8 years, been treated for piles and nothing improved until I went to a private colorectal doctor, he's amazing, in one word: AN ANGEL WITH MAGIC HANDS! He consulted me and I was diagnose with anal fissure and a polyp which was prolapsing after each bowel motion, lots of bleeding, lots of pain, muscle spasms, the whole package. I had surgery this tuesday for polyp removal and botox injections for the anal fissure. I am day 2 after mu surgery and I feel like a new person. I was depressed too... trust me I can feel what you are going through. My advice is to go to a colorectal doctor and fix this problem and your quality of life will be amazing, trust me! I was in such stress and anxiety, plus the shock that I have been misdiagnosed and treated for a condition which I don't have. I had lots of stress and thoughts but after I have seen the right person I am so happy that I made this decision. Don't delay, just go to a specialist and trust me you will feel a different person! For the time being, try to do things which you like,distraction is the best and go to the specialist.

    All the best,


    • Posted

      I did see a specialist but he didn't offer surgery. I suppose I could see him again, but I need a referral from my GP. I didn't mention how fearful I am of doctors. Seeing that specialist the first time nearly sent me constant panic attacks.

  • Posted

    HI Molly,

    I used to literally claw the carpet lying on the floor for 10 to 15 hours a day after a BM with pain. youre not alone.

    i have had deep chronic fissure in ano. i had all the creams.

    i had botox under GA. failed.

    i had LIS surgery. then i got a perianal abcess.

    then i got a fistula and had fistulotomy surgery.

    YOU NEED SURGERY.GET TOUGH ON YOUR GP. its immediate pain relief.

    all the other things you mention are just hope and thats it really.

    ANYONE who says they healed it with sitz baths or fibre or cream or vitamins is talking dog s**t and they never hd what you ve got!

    peace be with you

    38 year old fit and active male. im a real person!!!

  • Posted

    Hello Molly, I had exactly the same as you are having, lots of blood, a rectocele which made it worse to go, and felt so ill. I had blood tests and was really anaemic, I was convinced it was the daily bleeding, but turned out to be stomach ulcers, which in a way led to my fissure being cured. I was sent to a colo rectal surgeon to have a colonoscopy and a gastroscopy. He told me to use laxido sachets every day without fail. I add to that magnesium citrate 500 mg tablets, and have a very soft bowel movement every morning. He gave me dilitizam cream, not sure of spelling, but it burned like mad, and I could only put on the outside as it hurt too much.

    It took about a week to stop bleeding, after all the years I had suffered, it was unbelievable. This was two years ago, I have only bled once since, when I forgot the laxido. I will take it for life now, and get it on prescription.

    Hope this helps, its such a miserable thing to live with, and the pain is awful.

    • Posted

      When I have a soft bowel movement everything is great. The minute it's too hard, well, you know what happens. I'll look into laxido. If it well help keep my stool soft, I'll all for that.

      I don't want to have surgery. My cousin did this and he's never been the same. I know people swear by it, but it scares the crap out of me.

    • Posted

      well thats one way of going . seriously it has worked for me, I still have some pain after a bm, that lasts for a while,but not the horrible pain when I used to split. The fissure is still there, but its healed over, it wouldnt take much for it to split again, but honestly the combination of laxido and magnesium citrate keep things very soft, Im so glad I didnt have surgery. Just try it and see, you have nothing to lose.

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