Attempting moderation - Is it possible?

Posted , 8 users are following.

Hi everyone,

I was hoping to get your thoughts & experiences on this. Nearly 3 weeks ago I was all set for quitting completely. I was ready to tell everyone that I just don't drink anymore. I felt almost good about it. A few days later thinking about a couple of social events I have coming up I decided that I would moderate instead, I have stopped drinking at home which I would do secretly a couple of times a week & in the last 17 days I have drank on one occasion when out with my husband. I had 4 drinks over the course of around 4 hours. I wanted to see how I felt doing this. 

We were away in Poland at the time so we were in a different environment. I had no alcohol before going to the venue which for me is very unusual I would have a few while getting ready. Arriving sober I did feel anxious - I didn't really want to go but part of that was that is was a place I'd never been to in another country. We got a drink each mine a vodka & coke & bumped into a friend of my husband's. I could see she had a few drinks already taken something I would probably not of noticed if I also had had my usual pre party drinks. Chatting to her was okay but she kept banging her mouth into my ear & laughing when there was no punch line. I'm not downing the girl - she was out enjoying herself but it did strike me that that is probably what I am like. I could see me through my husband's eyes who barely drinks himself these last few years. We paced our drinks so I never felt much of their effect at all & so left with all senses intact. Did I enjoy the night as much without my usual alcohol intake? Honestly no. I am glad I didn't blackout or annoy my husband or have The Fear the next day. I did want to drink more but I didn't I got through it. 

My question is will I get through it every time? Can I just have a few & I'll then never have to explain why I'm not having any alcohol & then not feel paranoid. I feel I can do this for my husband & child & not get wasted again. Has anyone on here successfully moderated or was it a losing battle? On another site I was on every person said it is impossible. I have a wedding to go to in 3 weeks & plan to moderate again. A lot of my oldest friends will be there & they will be drinking a lot I imagine & I will be holding back. I can imagine where I would usually be up all night between drinks on the dancefloor I won't go near it without my dutch courage. I didn't get up & dance once in Poland.

Just to add TSM is not an option for me as I live in Ireland. I explored this with my GP last year & it would be a long & difficult process to get a doctor to agree to it here .

Thanks in advance x

1 like, 13 replies

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13 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi SadieDee. I stopped completely 7 years ago and after 5 months had strong cider 2 litre as usual and could not stop! Convinced myself just the one and I can control it but I could not. Move on and following year I did stop and that was 5 years ago. Just say that you are an outgoing, cheerful and wild girl and do not need alcohol. Use tummy ache as an excuse or hangovers are horrible...at Xmas my co workers were totally drunk! I drove some of them home and fine. One guy trapped the rear of the bottom of a very nice girl and she was upset, started crying etc and the boss lady had to chat with her.. He did more and was very drunk obviously....he no longer works with us since January!!!! New dad and unemployed and wife at home as well with 3 months old baby... Oh LA LA the drinks! Best of luck...Robin
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  • Posted

    Hi Sadie, I'm in Ireland you can get Selincore *Nalmefene * it's the same as Naltrexton (opioid blocker) don't take no for an answer. Show your GP short YouTube clip on (TSM) I'm on week 4.

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    • Posted

      Thank you for this reply Cisorium.  I've said to many people about nalmefene being approved and available in Ireland and in fact, am currently supporting a number people through TSM in the country.   They, and you, are proof that Sadie needs to pursue this matter further.

      Unless it is not medically suitable to be prescribed, nalmefene IS an option in Ireland (it's approved and available on the HSE) and if a doctor refuses to prescribe for no good reason then it is a case of lodging a formal complaint and pursuing it that way.

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    • Posted

      Hi Cisorium,

      My GP would not prescribe. I brought her printouts & told her about this forum. She read up on it but said she or no doctor at the clinic would prescribe it. Could you PM any info as to where I could go ? 

      Thank you 

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  • Posted

    Moderation is achievable for some, depending on how far along the alcohol spectrum they are, and it is wrong for someone to declare that it is impossible. 

    However, it can be a constant battle, and very exhausting to do.  I've heard many say that just stopping drinking entirely proved to be easier than moderating.  The difficulty is that all someone needs is that one occasion that they are not quite 'on the ball' for them to either lose control and start the who process all over again.  That situation might even be outside your control.  For example, you might do fine for ages and then if the drink catches you at a time when your hormone levels are lower, it can be absorbed quicker and get you in a difficult position of you feeling unusually high from that one or two drinks.... almost like you've had 3 or 4 drinks.

    I really feel that you have nothing to lose in pursuing the situation with nalmefene, and the sooner the better that you start pursuing it.  It's unlikely this is going to leave you and the months are going to pass anyway, so at least if moderating does prove difficult for you to do comfortably, then by then you are nearer getting the medication for your condition that you are rightly entitled to.

    Moderating will either turn out to be relatively easy for you or not.  If it turns out to be easy, then great.  Fantastic.  Alcohol is no longer an issue for you.  If the battle to moderate is constant and difficult, then you need to look elsewhere for help because at some point between now and the end of your life, the chances are that something is going to happen which throws you off-kilter and you are likely to end up in a worse situation.  (this is the alcohol deprivation effect at work).

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    • Posted

      Thank you Joanna,

      I spoke to you before when I was pursuing TSM with my doctor but she wouldn't prescribe it in the end. It took so much energy & willpower to go to her I am so ashamed of my drinking I felt humiliated going & it was disappointing that she would not prescribe the nalmefene. Maybe I should try a different doctor but I don't know who unfortunately as I don't want to go through the humiliation again with the same result of being told to go to AA. 

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    • Posted

      I remember, yes.  This bit of further information may help too.  It won't mean much to you, but to a doctor it gives the relevant reimbursement code to prove it is HSE-approved.

      If you have either a GMS Medial Card or a DPS Drugs Payment Card, then the reimbursement code is as below:

      Code 54344 (14 tablets) or 54535 (28 tablets)

      ATCLVL5 Code N07BB05

      Name Nalmefene - Selincro - Film Coated Tablets

      Manufacturer Lundbeck Ireland Ltd

      In 2009, the NHS in England introduced the NHS Constitution.  This confirms that patients are legally entitled to medications that are approved on the NHS as long as the medication is medically suitable for a patient.  In our circumstance, it means that doctors cannot just say 'go to AA' because there is a scientifically evidence-based medical treatment for our medical condition.

      I do not have access to whether there is something similar in Ireland because much of the Irish information is a paid-subscription service, but I suspect their is.  Next time you go past a chemist, pop in and ask.

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    • Posted

      I don't have a medical card or  DPS Drugs Payment Card but there would be no harm showing that code to a doctor so they can check that it is prescribed. I will check out with a chemist next week. Even if I have to pay for Nalmefene privately I would. I don't drink everyday it's usually 2 - 3 nights a week so I would only be taking the Nalmefene then. 

      I need to go to a different doctor also.

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  • Posted

    Hi,

    I know that many people say it isn't possible and I myself have had many people tell me I should never drink again. Brief history: I drank excessively (excess of 50 units every day). I got arrested for drunk and disorderly and had to go to an alcohol recovery service programme or I would be charged. Even though I didn't think I had a problem I had a detox. I was sober for 105 days (with one blip of a bottle of wine, but once I realised it didn't help I stopped). After 100 days I decided that sobriety wasn't for me as I'm only 24 and wanted to be able to drink occasionally with friends. Against the advice of the alcohol service, in November I began drinking 2 bottles of ginger beer a week (4 units). It has been 5 months and i haven't slipped back into my old ways.

    This is just my experience and I know it's not possible for everyone but I wanted to say that it is possible for some people, like me.

    Good luck on whatever you choose.

    Speckled Gecko xxx

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    • Posted

      Wow! That is fantastic ! Well done on that. I would like to think that could be me but I don't know. Alcohol for me is like an old reliable friend. The confident maker, the problem number, the relaxer etc.... I can try moderate but I will miss it. I actually never saw the point in having one drink as I'm not into the taste - it has always had the purpose to make me feel good 

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