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I split up from my long-term partner 10 months ago and have finally got over my broken heart and met someone I really like (not that easy at age 53!). My IC is well controlled and I haven't had a flare in over 2 years... until last week when I slept with my new partner for the first time. In my old relationship we used to avoid penetrative sex most of the time or kept it really gentle and short so as not to trigger me. It wasn't an issue and we had a good and creative sex-life. So I am in total shock about being in this flare after a fairly ordinary session albeit quite long. It has been 5 days and I am in more and more pain. I am avoiding seeing new man with lots of excuses but cannot do so indefinitely and will have to say something. I am terrified of scaring him off. Not sure how to handle the situation at all. What exactly should I say or not say? If the flare was short-lived I could just put up with it for a while til I get to know him better but I am zombied out on strong pain meds at the moment. Can anyone give me some words of advice, wisdom or hope please. I keep thinking I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life alone because of this sodding illness and I can't bear it.
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