Awful Urethral burning after sex - Help I'm desperate

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I split up from my long-term partner 10 months ago and have finally got over my broken heart and met someone I really like (not that easy at age 53!). My IC is well controlled and I haven't had a flare in over 2 years... until last week when I slept with my new partner for the first time. In my old relationship we used to avoid penetrative sex most of the time or kept it really gentle and short so as not to trigger me. It wasn't an issue and we had a good and creative sex-life. So I am in total shock about being in this flare after a fairly ordinary session albeit quite long. It has been 5 days and I am in more and more pain. I am avoiding seeing new man with lots of excuses but cannot do so indefinitely and will have to say something. I am terrified of scaring him off. Not sure how to handle the situation at all. What exactly should I say or not say? If the flare was short-lived I could just put up with it for a while til I get to know him better but I am zombied out on strong pain meds at the moment. Can anyone give me some words of advice, wisdom or hope please. I keep thinking I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life alone because of this sodding illness and I can't bear it.

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  • Posted

    i have experiienced this vagifem on precription good wash in just water no products fotget penetration just have fun use vibrators we call it mutual masterbation. never try penitration untill you are really relaxed its your body . men love womens bodies, he isnt perfect he could have issues relax have nice music etc.

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    • Posted

      Sorry about this reply I was in bed in the dark and my battery on my I Pad was getting low.

      I suffered for years with soreness, itching, and penetration was painful . At first I saw a male doctor. I said I thought I had thrush, he did not examine me and gave me canestine , after that I bought it over the counter. I was in my 50'S .

      A friend told me about vagifem , but I was already having sexual problems as it had got so bad. We went to 2 sex therapist the first was not that helpful, we read the Relate books The relate guide to SEX in loving relationships and The relate guide to LOVING in LATER LIFE intimacy in the prime of life. We learn't about SENSATE FOCUS! we would use that but I was frustrated at not having an orgasm through penetration . The second therapist was brilliant she made me aware that I thought of sex and orgasms as love. she said would you think that people in their 90' s can have penetrative sex. We speak about our feelings honestly it's not always perfect, but we accept that most relationships have problems. I think we all need someone to be intimate , close to, to cuddle,and to enjoy life with. I am in my 70'S now, life is to be lived. He will enjoy his experinces with you as long as you are honest and open. If he isn't find someone who is. being on my own after my devorcie in my 50's I met a few frogs , had a disasterious relationship for 3 years. met my current partner when I was 59, I dated people using a dating page in a newspaper. I was lacking confidence at the time. and all but 1 man wanted to see me again. I realised that men like us need someone to be with they love us warts and all so we can do likewise. To avoid irritation I wash in just water, I wash my cotton knickers in just water, use lubricants for sex. I am trying olive oil at the moment, spit, or KY Jelley ok . enjoy your self life is to short to worry about what if's

      use it or lose it masturbate when you are on your own and it is the safest sex

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  • Posted

    Sorry I didn't say I was suffering , am suffering from vaginal atrophy look it up . This is aging, drying and shrinking . I wonder if this is the reason that many marriages and relationships fail around the menopause , and women shut up shop.

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  • Posted

    Another tip if it is cystitis as soon as you get any soreness mix 1 teaspoon of bicarbonate of soda in hot water and drink lt , shower after swimming chlorine is an irritant.

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