Back again fertility & alcohol

Posted , 7 users are following.

Hi everyone,

So I am back! Yep worried again about the drinking. History repeating itself yet again. I tend to have phases of posting on here & then disappearing. I I've just been feeling like I need to talk on here because the support & advise has helped me in the past.

So what have I been up to since I was last on Patient. I'm still drinking mainly one night a week but it would be a half bottle of vodka or a bottle of wine & most of it would still be in secret so I can have more than my husband thinks I am having. We are at present trying to conceive our second child. We had a surprise pregnancy back in August 2018 . Unfortunately At 8 weeks I miscarried & was devastated. I also lost a close friend of mine that same week. He was killed - so around that time things felt sad. Even though we decided after the miscarriage to try again I didn't stop m y weekend binge. I wanted to as I have read it can effect your fertility. I am already 38 years old soon to be 39 so age is going against me also.

I know the above should not be the real reason to stop drinking I should do it for me really but I really want this other child so theses binges have to stop. I told myself this weekend I will not drink but I just don't trust myself so I am on here to go through it with you all,


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9 Replies

  • Posted

    So sorry for your loss the past months, anyone would have found that a very difficult moment not to pickup, but well done you! Sticking to drinking one night a week is amazing, give yourself some credit for it!

    May sound harsh but I don't want it to come across that way but you say 'you want this other child so the binges will stop' .... How will having a baby help this? Myself would think it would make stress etc 100% worse to use and an excuse to go on a binge? Sorry I haven't read your previous posts but all I know is.... I baby does Not solve the problem... And what you if you cannot stop and your baby is born addicted to alcohol.? It's so so hard but try looking at the bigger picture. I wish you well xx

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  • Posted


    I feel your for you, I am sorry for your loss.

    I have also not read your previous posts so can only go by what you have written here. First things first, are you an alcoholic? Sometimes the answers don't make sense unless we get our questions right. Only you can answer that question, if its a yes then I am afraid once a week is just senseless. If anything, it is making it way more difficult to get over alcohol for good. READ ME CLEAR, nothing is or should be more important to you right now than getting sober for good, not your child, not your husband, not even your upcoming child. The amount of distress that you will be saving yourself and saving them from cannot be measured.

    Have you had medical help? If not do it TODAY, it will help you initially and is necessary but to remain sober for good its not going to be sufficient.

    There maybe be many ways to succesfully remain sober, none of them worked for me except one. I can only talk about what worked and is working for me. I am saying this even at the risk of being scorned and ridiculed because i love you and I dont want even my enemy to experience an alcoholic life, its deplorable.

    I found the strength over my alcohol, my pride and my helplessness when I turned to Jesus. Go to HIM and ask if it is true that HE loves you, has HE really carved you on the palm of HIS hand, did HE really know you before the foundation of the universe was laid, will HE not help you when you fall on your face before HIM seeking HIS help.

    There is a huge void in our lives and we fill it with alcohol which can never actually fill it, Only HE can fill it, once there you will not have to use will power, you will automatically be repulsed by alcohol or any such substances.

    My GOD give you the strength to knock on HIS door, GOD bless

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    • Posted

      I am so pleased for you being able to give up alcohol and most importantly that you have found the love and peace of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus CHRIST?

      That said please do not assume that for everyone that is an automatic 'fix'. Christians too struggle with issues and often dont share because they fear being judged, not by God, but by fellow Christians.

      I do encourage all to know their loving Heavenly Father and cone to faith through Jesus who died for us onthe cross and rose again so we can be in eternity with Our Father.

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    • Posted

      Do you say the same about God filling the void which are other mental health conditions too, such as depression, or bipolar, or schizophrenia?

      Personally, I believe in God and I am very spiritual, but I would never dream of telling someone that God will help them be repulsed by alcohol.

      Alcohol dependency is a neurological mental health condition. It's not something that can be prayed away.

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  • Posted

    Hi Sadie Dee, like the other replies i also feel sorry for your loss but think that you have the strength to stop IF you become pregnant. You seem a strong willed person and i think you can do it. I really feel for you and hope that you can fall pregnant again. Regards Robin

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  • Posted

    HI Sadie,

    You must be a strong person to limit to once a week, even if you then cant stop. This is such a typical experience for many of us.....alcoholism comes in so many disguises. Whether or not one calls oneself an alcoholic or not the truth usually is that once one has that first cant stop.

    My sister and I have had great success since the New Year by happening across an online book called 'TIRED OF THINKING ABOUT DRINKING' (capital letters my own)...100 days sober by Belle Robertson. You can buy the book or access it for free online. SHE HAS NOW BEEN OVER 6 years SOBER but she started off by 30 days, then 100 etc.

    Belle supports anyone who contacts her by daily email and audios.

    PLEASE try this as you will be astonished at how many people are the same! It was such an eyeopener to know that there are sooo many people out there with the same experiences and that one is not alone! She calls it the woolfie voice. She takes you through each stage as she has written a journal of her experiences.

    PLEASE update us if you find this useful.

    You will start to feel so much stronger and positive about life once you ate on this journey.


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  • Posted

    Thanks everyone for your replies. I must let you know that the reason I want another child is not to put a stop to my binges. Since the miscarraige I have longed for another addition to our family - a brother or sister our son. I did not have trouble not drinking when I was pregnant yes at times I missed it but I would not drink when pregnant.

    I don't believe I have a physical addiction its very much caught up in habit . It's what i look forward to at the end of the week which many do but when I start I want to keep going. I want that relaxed numb feeling.

    I've read that alcohol can effect egg quality so I tell myself every week that I wont drink for even that one night a week but Saturday comes I make an excuse & drink then regret it & worry that I've effected my fertility. It's because I don't 100% know that it does effect it that I take the risk. I just feel what else will I do instead . It's for certain habitual & an addiction after the first drink.

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    • Posted

      Hi sadie - I understood exactly what you meant about the reason why you want to stop your weekend drinks - to enhance fertility and not that having another child will curb you. I believe you have indeed got the strength to enhance what you require to add to your family. It is you and hubs call - no brainer to me. Wishing you and your family all the very best.

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