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Back down the spiral staircase?

Posted , 3 users are following.

colin878
colin878

Hi all.

I was diagnosed with anxiety/clinical depression in January,I seen the whole thing as going down a spiral staircase,after asking for help & being prescribed 50mg sertraline I found myself slowly 'climbing back up' it to my former self. So after going through the common side affects from hell that come with the drug things levelled out & I was better.unfortunately some side affects wouldn't go away,sexual problems,emotional numbness,disturbed sleep,chronic tiredness & dreams that can sometimes have a negative affect on how I feel.so after a chat with my doc,a heated one at that(none of this was explained prior to being prescribed the medication) we agreed I taper down to 25mg & give it a shot-to be honest he was quite oblivious to how this drug works(googling things I tell him about it). Anyway,that was 5weeks ago,up until 4or5 days ago everything had been good...sexual side affects have all but gone & sleeping has been better although these dreams will not go away!since Thursday my mood has been getting lower & lower to the point where I am worried,with me worry leads to anxiety & anxiety leads to depression. I was attending a private therapist but it's £100 a shot & tbh it was more of an expensive conversation every week so I gave it up. There's an option to see a therapist through the health board(which I was told wasn't available to begin with)does CBT work,real CBT? I am worried the doctor says go back up to 50mg as the side affects get worse.Medication seems to be the only option,yes I agree it can help but it comes with unwanted add ons! Is there any end to this??this time last year i was happy & enjoying life,I'm 27 & like to think there's still a couple of years of youth left,but the thought of having to take medication to control my head really dampens how it's going to be. Can anyone give me some advice?this forum helped loads at the start,even more so than the therapist!

1 like, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • kellys90
    kellys90 colin878

    Posted

    Hiya love ino exactly how you feel i was happy loud bubbly 1 of the best people u could meet i got told but 1 night i had a panic attack i don't know why i just did and it carried on for a few days then i became anxious i felt like i didn't love my son and partner anymore it was awful i was feeling bad and guilty for others peoples problems ect kept having horrible thoughts and feelings ect i couldn't cope anymore i give up on myself i admitted myself to a mental health hospital because i knew this wasn't me it was like someone had crawled inside my head and i knew i was there somewhere i just couldn't find myself i felt lost and i hated myself i just wanted it to be over after a couple of days in hospital my boy come to see me he cried and it broke my heart because he thought i was coming home it's so hard writing this because he should of never of had to go through that anyway i ended up going home a few days after because i knew my boy needed his mummy and it was hard for the first few weeks months even i was put on serterline and citralpram in hospital but i couldn't sleep eat prop ect i stopped taking citralpram and replaced them with kalms a herbal remedie i only took them on a night and they helped me sleep so much better after a few months on them both i was me again the happy loud annoying me i felt loads better in.myself and people round me noticed a difference too i stopped taking them as i felt i didn't need them anymore big mistake that was as right back to the beginning unwanted thoughts feeling crap not sleeping again i have taken my first tablet today back on serterline 50mg and kalms just hoping they work like they did before anyway they do take time to kick in month or 2 and u do feel crappie Be4 u feel better and as 4 takin tablets all the time i get like it feel like i don't want to be on them 4 ever but look at it this way if you got told u was going to die unless u took a tablet every day ude take it there's nothing wrong in taking 1 tiny tablet a day to help you feel better luv sorry for the life story but wanted u to no there is light at the end of the tunnel feeling like i didn't love my son not being able to cuddle him to now being laid in bed watching a film with him all because of serterline it saved my life and i hope it starts working for you soon x
    • colin878
      colin878 kellys90

      Posted

      Thankyou for your kind reply. I have taken the decision to go back up to 50mg today,so far so good,hoping it wont be so bad as i havent completely stopped taking them-only dropped down a dose. its easy to see why things have gotten tough again now i look at it. i liked the way you put it into perspective about taking the tablet-gave me some much needed encouragement. again thankyou for your reply.hope you get to where you want to be smiling smile
    • kellys90
      kellys90 colin878

      Posted

      No problem love ino how hard it is but i also know there is that light as i once found it and ino il find it again you also need to help your self aswell though tablets do work and help a lot but some can put you off food ect I've had to force some dinner down today because with out food no strength to fight it same with sleep I've been tierd all day and felt like going to sleep but i know i won't sleep right tonight and feel rubbish tomorrow it's so hard but you've just got to get on with it pick your self up and carry on just a shame that the nicest of people after suffer am on my second day of serterline trying for the second time i just hope they work aswell as they did last time and i hope you're well soon hope to be seeing in a month or 2 that your feeling better. All the best x
  • wendy64499
    wendy64499 colin878

    Posted

    Hi Colin

    I am atm on the 50g dosage and have very similar side effects. As my sleep pattern has been broken for about 2 yrs I can deal with that. The sexual side effects are my worse and like you my doctor did not worn me about most of them, However, my thinking is that in the first instance I went to the doctor because I was struggling to hold it together for most of the day which is now no longer the case. I can fully apppreciate the difficulties of these side effect and tbh if I had known it would effect my sex life as much as this I am not sure I would have gone on them. But, I have talked to my doctor and my aim is to only stay o them 6 months. To enable me to do this I have looked at other treatments to help me deal with stress and anxiety so as not to become depressed. The Mindfulness web site together with self motivation is helping me deal with the side effects. 

    I also have chatted to others about  this and for some people once your body becomes used to the tablets it resumes normal working order. so maybe  not a good idea to keep messing wiht the dosage? 

    hope this might help

    • colin878
      colin878 wendy64499

      Posted

      Hi Wendy

      Thanks for your post. I completely agree with you in what you say about going up/down/up the dosage,although it's still at a relatively low dosage tweaking it like that can't be a good thing,just hoping it doesn't have a completely negative affect.Disturbed sleep,nightmares & sexual side affects were the main reason I opted to reduce,I can say it helped with sleeping & definitely helped the sexual problems but the dreams/nightmares have stayed 5weeks since reducing & now with some unwanted stress at work & the contract in my apartment expiring in 6weeks the negative thought patterns & steel shell i cocooned myself in are slowly returning. At least at 50mg I was able to control my thoughts better which in turn helped everything so fingers crossed it will return to the way it was.just hope the side affects are a bit more bearable. Thanks

  • wendy64499
    wendy64499 colin878

    Posted

    I really hope it works for you. One thing someone told me when dealing with stressful things. is only worry about the things you have control over. I didn't really get this at first but what I do is take the problem and look to see if I can control any of the outcomes. I deal with the ones I can and those I can't I push to the side. one day I hope to be able to push them away. This has helped me sleep better, although I still wake I am not awake as long. 
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