Back on Campral

Thanks robin. Felt a bit downhearted yesterday , but better today. Just felt like I'd gone backwards a bit. I've not been binging or drinking secretly, but noticed how the amount was creeping up.

To realize that and be willing to step in and make the needed changes, that's gold, Vickylou!

Well that ride could have gone pear shaped vicks - soo easily.  I hate this fact - will it never end ?

I still have a bottle of wine on Saturday and Sunday and sleep like a baby and love it.  I would normally have a glass at 5pm whilst making dinner, but this Sunday I started lunch at 2pm and had a glass whilst making it.  My other half asked if I had had a glass because I smelt of wine!  I said yes as was enjoying the radio on and pottering in the kitchen - he was not happy and said so.  Said too early. 

I did finish my bottle after a couple of hours, but did not enjoy it.

Just made me think - "you loser why can you not just not have it at all."

This is a hard walk we have and talking it and walking it are so difficult. 

You have got some difficult, albeit exciting, times ahead.  You should go for it  - Campral is obviously your saviour; so far, willpower is mine, but I wonder for how long mine will keep going.  I have to, or I know the consequences.

Thank you for being, as always, so honest.

G.

It was a risk I was not prepared to take. The memories are still with me and I've no intention of going back there.

I love having a couple of glasses of prosecco whilst cooking and like you, pottering in the kitchen. Ah well, that's out for a few months now.

Gwen your willpower amazes me, well done you. I know, like me, you have difficulty sleeping, and can fully relate to your Saturday and Sunday bottles.

Hubby just back from the lads (sorry old men) night out, gone straight to bed and now snoring away blissfully! Unless you've suffered with insomnia, I don't think people realise just how debilitating it is.

I woke at 3am yesterday. Wide awake, ended up watching the 3 part true story  3 Girls on my iPad. It was really good, but also very sad about Child Sexual Exploitation in Rochdale.

Dont know what to watch now 

We just watched "First Dates" on Channel 4 and the whistleblower or very BRAVE woman who tried to convince everybody for 10 years in Rochdale that there were problems was looking for a partner! What a brave and lovely person she is!...Robin

Hi ADE

sorry, I seemed to have missed you out in saying thank you for your words of encouragement . Well done you, you've found something that is obviously helping you enormously. Yet another AUD sufferer helped by medication. Don't know about your doctors across the pond, but I certainly wish the medical profession here made themselves aware, or even showed some interest in what drugs are available to help us. Instead they just send us to ARCs which is a complete waste of time

Yes vicks the dreaded insomnia.  I have stuck with my limit all week and today I look and feel like a walking Zombie flesheater - I am soo tired and finding it hard to remain chipper!  I have just prepped up dinner for later but did not dare have a sneaky glass.  I would really love to keep to the 2 small glasses tonight and tomorrow also but I feel the pull of a good sleep will win over.  I was awake as usual last night and heard every chime of the clock on the hour.  Like yours my hubs also went out on a lads night (ha ha ha - slip of the tongue) and he was up and down to the loo then straight back in the sack and SNORING SO BAD I could have stuffed one of his socks in his mouth.  The only thing keeping me sane today is that for some reason he decided to have a few pints of cider (normally beer) and today he is running to the loo ALOT.  It is making me split my sides laughing, one minute he was washing the car the next he looked like Road Runner in the cartoon, zooming up the drive, smoke at his heels, to the house.  When he said "your finding this funny aren't you?" I said yep -  you aint half releasing endorphins for me lol lol.

Good to laugh - see you through life .

Hiya gwen

just got back home from a meal in town with friends. Felt strange at first not drinking, but didn't really bother me.

What bothers me more is lying in bed, wide awake and thinking if I'd had a few glasses of wine I'd be fast off in bed.

I love cider, favourite being Old Rosie or any strong cider. However It can give you the runs, as your oh found out lol! You sound so sympathetic!,

I am absolutely knackered and it would be great to get a few hours sleep. I know what you mean about the zombie feeling. I've reached the stage now where concealer no longer hides the darkness round my eyes. Borrowed my daughters eye make up remover, told her it was useless as it didn't remove eye shadow, was mortified when she said "mum, that's not eye shadow, it's your dark circles!!" cheers daughter dear!

Sympathetic - meeeee - not when it is making me laugh soooo much lol.

I had my bottle last night and did not hear one chime of the clock - bliss bliss - bloomin bliss.  The difference today is huge, I am as they say, back in the room.  Feel this for you, the nights drag on and on don't they.  I hate the woolly feeling and woozy head i get. 

Have you tried anything topical for your circles.  I have a serum for bags and wrinkles which tightens everything up in seconds and lasts all day and I am sure I have seen something for circles.  How on earth do you cope 7 days a week, I am a mess on 5 days, the extra 2 would see me off.  You must be made of strong stuff Mrs.

When my daughter was still around, she would speak exactly the same way - far too honest lol.

Before I started back again on campral, OH and I would share (well, I'd have 3/4 of the bottle) a couple of bottles of wine, OH likes his 'real' beer, so like you, I'd get some sleep.

My body clock is all over the place. I'll fall asleep watching telly or DVDs, even though it's something I particularly want to watch. Then go to bed and be wide awake.

Ive spent an absolute fortune on creams and concealers and as my daughter so nicely put it "it's a bit like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted!!" Or "you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear"!!!

You're quite welcome, Vickylou. I completely concur with you about the doctors, far too many on our side of the pond as well don't even know about Naltrexone, let alone any of the other meds for AUD or The Sinclair Method.