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Hi so I felt fine for 2 weeks really back to myself but constantly waiting for something to stop me in my tracks and bring me back down again. Which it did I overthink things and I got myself into such a state crying when you can't get your breathe I had to ring my mum up to calm me down. A lot of it is how low I am but my partner doesn't help, he starts an argument or says things that upset me then I'm crying again, afew nights I walked out and went for a drive, just to get cigarettes and trying to text my friends if they awake. To my surprise no reply. I haven't got anyone to off load onto, only my counsellor.
I've tried to commit sucide 3 times and when ever in feel down that comes to mind, my partner talks about having children, how can I have a baby if I feel like this all the time? I know you change once you hold that little person in your hands but I don't think it's fair to do that and if I'm so low and finally commit sucide??
It's like my counsellor has told me ways and things to reach out to my partner and I've tried but his either on his phone, sleeping or doing something on his car. I love him too bits but I feel so alone. I shouldn't have to tell him how I feel. Been together 9 years now. So I thought I'll take Citalopram again only 10mg but yday in work I felt so drowsy and sickness, my clothes are too big for me now.
Just sick of being on a roller coaster that's constantly going down. I'm 28 wonder how long I've lived for before I finally just give in.
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