Back on Citalopram

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Hi so I felt fine for 2 weeks really back to myself but constantly waiting for something to stop me in my tracks and bring me back down again. Which it did I overthink things and I got myself into such a state crying when you can't get your breathe I had to ring my mum up to calm me down. A lot of it is how low I am but my partner doesn't help, he starts an argument or says things that upset me then I'm crying again, afew nights I walked out and went for a drive, just to get cigarettes and trying to text my friends if they awake. To my surprise no reply. I haven't got anyone to off load onto, only my counsellor.

I've tried to commit sucide 3 times and when ever in feel down that comes to mind, my partner talks about having children, how can I have a baby if I feel like this all the time? I know you change once you hold that little person in your hands but I don't think it's fair to do that and if I'm so low and finally commit sucide??

 It's like my counsellor has told me ways and things to reach out to my partner and I've tried but his either on his phone, sleeping or doing something on his car. I love him too bits but I feel so alone. I shouldn't have to tell him how I feel. Been together 9 years now. So I thought I'll take Citalopram again only 10mg but yday in work I felt so drowsy and sickness, my clothes are too big for me now. 

Just sick of being on a roller coaster that's constantly going down. I'm 28 wonder how long I've lived for before I finally just give in. 

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Laura, I am sorry to hear your feeling so low at the moment but hang on in there. It takes a while for the Citalopram to stabilise in your system. I take 10mg after reducing from 20mg and feel better than i did. Having a baby whhile you feel like this would not be wise as your hormones would be unsettled and you could feel worse, and it would not be fair to the baby growing inside. If you did decide to get pregnant you could suffer post natal depression which is awful. A baby will not solve your depression or relationship, concentrate on your own health until you are in a better place. Have you thought about any therapies? This is a good forum to talk as people on here are suffering and understand, i am on here most days and you can always private message if you wish. Hope this helps. 
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    • Posted

      Hi Elizabeth, yeah I was on 20mg and after 30 minutes taking it I was lifeless, and drowsy so they reduced it to 10mg felt ok got over the side effects, but my family don't like anti depressants because you can get addicted. So I stopped taking them, but I was just so sick of going round in circles so I'm taking them again I need something. I had a panic attack In work because I was overthinking and got myself worked up. I go counselling whenever I feel I need to, and she does stop my thinking and turn it round into a good thing. So you do feel better after but it doesn't last long. I know thank you for being ears. Just feel alone can't even write in my diary because I get too upset then cry myself to sleep. X
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    • Posted

      I had a month of feeling fine then crashed again. Its so frustrating isnt it. I know how you feel. Pm me if you want some to talk to and understands how you feel.
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    • Posted

      Hi kat, yh you think you feel fine and getting back to yourself then out of the blue. Everyone says your get there but I don't feel I will. Just long going now and I'm losing energy to even care now I'll happy lay in bed Alday everyday and watch the world go by. Shutting myself out completely. Thank you kat really appreciate it. 

      X

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