back on citalopram and just need to rant.

Posted , 3 users are following.

aaaaaaargh. I think I might have come off the meds too early last summer. I started taking them last janurary and though they took a good 6/7 weeks to kick in, they did the trick in the end. I had a pretty calm 7/8 months and, thinking I was out of the woods, stopped taking them, gradually at first, then studpidly forgetting them. Theres also been some large life changing events recently. I left my boyfriend of 4 years just beforer the summer as he was drinking far too much and not contributing to the household bill and it was dragging me down. Then not long after that I met someone else. It wasnt planned that way, it just happened and rebound relationships are not really my style. For the last three months its been really lovely, he really made me laugh which is a biggie in my book, we'd been going out lots, late nights, drinking,cinema, even a trip to barcelona for my birthday. We've met each others friends and we both have children, his boy is four, mine is 11. All was going swimingly But then all of a sudden, a couple of weeks ago, what with funding cuts etc at work, Im not sure if my job is secure for next year and I have a mortage to pay. At the same time I feel totally unmotivated at work, yet I havent got a clue what else I want to do with my life, and I worry that the depression will prevent me from ever being able to hold down a job etc etc. So now Im on a bit of a downward spiral and that fact that Ive just met someone who I actullally like, someone who is decent and honest for the first time in a long time. But Imt finding it hard to keep us going with the depression. Im having silly thoughts like, Im not good enough for him, Im really boring, etc etc. Ive have explained to him that I suffer from depression and am taking the meds which will make me feel a bit withdrawn and sad for a while. To be honest all my feelings are numb at the moment but I dont want him to feel like Im pushing him away, I just need to get back to my normal self again, whoever that is. Though Ive told him what it going on, I try not to be too morose in front of him, because I dont want to scare him off, yet Im struggling to keep up the act, all I want to do is curl up in bed and stay there, but i know its not the answer. We're planning to spend christmas together but Im worried the pils wont have started working yet and I'll ruin his chrismas. In fact Im just worrying full stop about everything. I feel like a mess and I dont know what to do. Anyone have any encouraging thoughts out there?

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  • Posted

    been taking this med now for 11 days felt like shit wen first started was tired all time and yawning .its passed now and feeling great with just positive thoughts all time .if can work for me so quickly sure it can for you.sure that you will have a great christmas think positive. :lol:
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  • Posted

    i hope it goes ok for you seem to be worrying to much try and relax youve told him the situation so im sure he understands...

    bill c please can you tell me what size tabs you are taking that took 11 days to work? ive just started off on the 10mg ones for about 6 days now and feel pretty down to be honest

    thanks

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  • Posted

    [quote:3857eca6b4=\"Darren \"]i hope it goes ok for you seem to be worrying to much try and relax youve told him the situation so im sure he understands...

    bill c please can you tell me what size tabs you are taking that took 11 days to work? ive just started off on the 10mg ones for about 6 days now and feel pretty down to be honest

    thanks[/quote:3857eca6b4]im on 20.started on 10 the for the first week.have no side effects at all now apart from eating more than did before.feel great.

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  • Posted

    [quote:b55eecf0ee=\"ali-b\"]aaaaaaargh. I think I might have come off the meds too early last summer. I started taking them last janurary and though they took a good 6/7 weeks to kick in, they did the trick in the end. I had a pretty calm 7/8 months and, thinking I was out of the woods, stopped taking them, gradually at first, then studpidly forgetting them. Theres also been some large life changing events recently. I left my boyfriend of 4 years just beforer the summer as he was drinking far too much and not contributing to the household bill and it was dragging me down. Then not long after that I met someone else. It wasnt planned that way, it just happened and rebound relationships are not really my style. For the last three months its been really lovely, he really made me laugh which is a biggie in my book, we'd been going out lots, late nights, drinking,cinema, even a trip to barcelona for my birthday. We've met each others friends and we both have children, his boy is four, mine is 11. All was going swimingly But then all of a sudden, a couple of weeks ago, what with funding cuts etc at work, Im not sure if my job is secure for next year and I have a mortage to pay. At the same time I feel totally unmotivated at work, yet I havent got a clue what else I want to do with my life, and I worry that the depression will prevent me from ever being able to hold down a job etc etc. So now Im on a bit of a downward spiral and that fact that Ive just met someone who I actullally like, someone who is decent and honest for the first time in a long time. But Imt finding it hard to keep us going with the depression. Im having silly thoughts like, Im not good enough for him, Im really boring, etc etc. Ive have explained to him that I suffer from depression and am taking the meds which will make me feel a bit withdrawn and sad for a while. To be honest all my feelings are numb at the moment but I dont want him to feel like Im pushing him away, I just need to get back to my normal self again, whoever that is. Though Ive told him what it going on, I try not to be too morose in front of him, because I dont want to scare him off, yet Im struggling to keep up the act, all I want to do is curl up in bed and stay there, but i know its not the answer. We're planning to spend christmas together but Im worried the pils wont have started working yet and I'll ruin his chrismas. In fact Im just worrying full stop about everything. I feel like a mess and I dont know what to do. Anyone have any encouraging thoughts out there?[/quote:b55eecf0ee]

    Ali-B,

    The good thing is that you recognise that you are in a depressive state so the tablets must be doing something. You didn't say what strength and how long you've been on them for at the moment?

    I'm on 20mg a day and have been for about 3 months. I'm also 6 months pregnant. I can empathise in some respects as I am having a lot of mental strain with my partner who is the father, which is alcohol related.

    So you've been with the new guy about 6 months or so? It's good you've explained to him about it and I think it depends on how much a person knows about depression as to how they can treat people in the things they say. As you recognise your symptoms, if you want to you can ask him to encourage you to be positive etc.

    I was just thinking that my feelings have been quite numb lately, especially in the past month or so where my problems with my partner have been at their peak where I was on the verge of leaving when he blew his last chance. But it's so much more difficult to up and leave when I'm pregnant :\

    Basically I suggest you talk to your man, maybe try and explain your feelings? You'll know if he can love you and your depression smile

    Take it one day at a time, remember the things you need to get out of bed for in the morning smile

    Hope that helped, would really like to hear back from you smile

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  • Posted

    hi abi ,ur not on ur own chick i started on cit 1 yr ago & it took time but by the summer iwas starting 2 feel myself again then 6 weeks ago started 2 ween off them but 2 quickly & started feeling shite again was on 4omg by the way did drop 2 10 when i was weenin off them.Went 4 my check up last wk & doc told me 2 stay on 40 mg till at least easter then go back 4 a chat with him u do wonder if cit does any good but its not till u stop takin them u know they do do u good take care
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  • Posted

    sorry ment 2 put ali x
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