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I'm finding it hard to process this and am feeling quite depressed. So I had my appointment with the Neurosurgeon and it was'nt ideal. I had to pay privately in order to get seen quicker, he was running really late and I had two small children to entertain in the waiting area.
He was only interested in the MRI scans and spent time looking at and comparing them. I was expecting the appointment to be one hour but was in there barely twenty minutes. The conclusion was; spinal fusion at L5/S1 is not an option due to the fact that I have three levels above showing degeneration. Fusion would put too much pressure on these. Looking at my scans he said that I have permanent damage of my sciatic nerve due to the fact that there was a large prolapse when I was pregnant with my son in 2012. All of my troubles are caused by this initial damage. He said that normally the body would heal and the nerve be ok or they would have operated on me, unfortunately having a baby growing during that small window of opportunity means that the nerve has been damaged permanently.
So I'm to treat it with the huge amount of painkillers and hope that it eases off and take care not to aggrevate it again through my work. He wasn't interested in how this has all impacted on myself and the life of my family and was very matter of fact about it.
I am currently really struggling as I am taking 600mg Lyrica as well as Diclofenac, Trazinidine, Amitriptyline and morphine for breakthrough pain. This has swapped physical pain for mental as I have had such a raft of nasty side effects (the hospital doubled the Lyrica in one go). I have been back into work to discuss a phased return but feel that is a long way off as I can't even make dinner for the children without suffering.
I feel like giving up as this is the third time in six years that I have had to come back from this and I have spent half that time in hospital or flat on the bed. It really is too much to cope with as the side effects are suicidal thoughts, exhaustion, paranoia, unable to remember names, dates or pretty much any information, lack of concentration and total loss of my cognitive skills.
Please help; what can I do now? I want to decrease some of the Lyrica but after two days on a smaller dose feeling pain again and think this is probably too soon. I have been referred to a Nuero-psychologist and hopefully she can give me some support. Everyone is saying I'm depressed but I think it's the drugs really, I can't take anti-depressants as they will react with the Lyrica.
Apologies in advance for the length of this post.
All the best
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