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Bad things follow me around

Posted , 3 users are following.

ellennj
ellennj

I'm really just don't see the point anymore bad things just follow me around got a speeding ticket today and couldn't bring myself to go to school either, I don't know how much the speeding ticket is could be £100 fine and 3/6 points on my licence which you know sucks because I could loose my licence but then again I wouldn't be suprised if that happened or £1 and a speed awareness course but knowing my luck that won't happen, I can't even get myself out of bed in the mornings anymore ive been late into school everyday except 1 for 2 weeks now and they keep having a go at me about it but I just don't see the point I don't sleep and when I do I oversleep but when I wake up I have nothing to get up for I don't want to see my therapist anymore cancelled my appointment last week and will do the same this week I'm going to call when she's out of hours so I don't actually have to talk to her just leave a message I don't see the point in being here anymore but too much of a coward to end it

1 like, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • ellennj
    ellennj

    Posted

    And to think that yesterday I was feeling content with myself not happy but you know proud that Id managed to clear out the whole of my room and do some work at home the past week
  • fiona66745
    fiona66745 ellennj

    Posted

    You can do this.

    little steps.

    i have just got a camera and have started some photography.

    something new.

    i have had Tendonitis since last summer and can't do certain things.

    i know things will get better.

    the longer you leave it,the worse it gets.

    just do something for yourself tomorrow.....

    take care of yourself.

    • ellennj
      ellennj fiona66745

      Posted

      Thank you for your reply, Im begining to think I can't do this anymore it's like 1 step forward 10 steps back at the moment ive never felt worse after getting help at least I was coping enough to get through the days before, I gave all of my pain killers to my teacher and used up the last of my codeine tablets last week so just scrambled up a bunch of other tablets in the hope I'll get some sort of feeling, ive taken 9 so far a mix of pain killers, allergy tablets and cold relief tablets I don't know if it will have any effect so I'll have to wait it out
    • ellennj
      ellennj fiona66745

      Posted

      Make that 11 now but no effect has seemed to taken place so think I'll turn to the beers to wash it down
  • linda55352
    linda55352 ellennj

    Posted

    Hello if u dont mind me asking how old are you with saying you didn go to school
    • linda55352
      linda55352 ellennj

      Posted

      I really do wish you well maybe you should go back to your doc, I dont like to hear young people feeling so down.My dear son lost his life at the age of 27 and it has had a terrible impact on my health take care of yourself and if things seem bad for u talk to someone thete is help out there
    • ellennj
      ellennj linda55352

      Posted

      Ive been getting 'help' for moths now and its only made things get worse within the past week despite the lack of sleep then sleeping in and missing school ive been doing okay with my self medication but within the past couple of days ive been set back a lot and with my living situation not being ideal the only time I can somewhat escape is being drunk or somewhat high
    • ellennj
      ellennj linda55352

      Posted

      And I think the fact it was Mother's Day yesterday really hasn't helped matters
    • linda55352
      linda55352 ellennj

      Posted

      Yes mothers day was extremely hard for myself yesterday one day at a time dear thats the only advice I can give you take it easy
    • ellennj
      ellennj linda55352

      Posted

      I can only imagine I am so sorry for your loss but from the sounds of things you and your son had a good relationship which I hope you can take away and find joy in Id love to pass knowing how much I would be loved and missed by my mother but sadly that's not the case and I'm positive that he is still with you ️although it may not seem like it. What was his name if you don't mind me asking
    • linda55352
      linda55352 ellennj

      Posted

      Hi his name was Patrick and yes he was the most loving son anyone could ask for I miss him more than words can say , and there are days I don't even want to get out my bed lrt alone live.but I have a daughter who is a nurse and she is the reason I am still here.She lives with her partner but comes and see's me everyday , but it cannot be easy for her with my mood swings but she is all I have as far as family goes my parents died shortly after my son life is cruel butvi really wish u all the best I turned to drink at one point in my life but I have been sober for 11yrs take care love I will have u in my prayers
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