bad week two worries

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ok so iv been avoiding telling my mum that im on tablets for depression but she found out because i forgot she reads my facebook status and comments (serves me right for drinking and updating my status)

so now i also have to cope with her constantly looking over my shoulder and telling me its all her fault. to make matters worse her and my step dad have been arguing all week so the house has been really tense. i made the mistake of double dosing on monday because i knew the house would be tense when i got home from work. so tuesday i felt really bad and when i got home from work mum had gone to spend the night at my sisters and my stepdad had started a new job so me and my stepbrother decided to raid the alcohol cupboard, big mistake i got twice as drunk in half the time and ended up sleeping in my brothers bed and had a really bad hangover yesterday.

went back to work today after spending most of yesterday in bed listening to sarcastic comments from my stepdad implying that something must be going on between me and my stepbrother (he is so not my type)

i have gone back to my old ways of snapping at people for no good reason and kept almost bursting into tears at work. im really worried but i cant go and see the doctor becuase they are closed by time i get home from work and i cant take time off sick because i dont get sick pay.

is it possible to have a relapse while still on the tablets and also i cut myself this morning (not on purpose) it was the tiniest of cuts and still took nearly 2 hours to stop bleeding. has anyone else had this problem??

sorry for going on for so long but i needed to get it all out of my system somewhere my mum wont read it

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  • Posted

    Right, take 2!! I replied earlier but forgot to log in 1st! D'oh! Hope I remember what I wrote!

    Did your Doc not tell you not to drink? (well apart from maybe a wee glass o wine occasionally). The drug affects your response to alcohol so you get drunk twice as fast on half as much! Booze is a depressant so if you drink you start to cancel out any good effects that the drug is doing. And, your liver can't process the booze and the drug very well so you end up with hangovers from hell!! Sorry if I am repeating what you know, but just in case you don't...?

    It will be pretty hard at this time of year but I will be (trying hard) laying off the hard stuff and maybe only have a couple of beers if I am out. Just cause folk say \"have a drink, take a drink!\" (well, they do in my part of the world!) I will be for once trying to do whats best for me and not what I think I should be doin to follow the group! Plus, the days after aren't worth it and I don't mean hangovers... I mean snapping at folk for no reason, arguing and being a moody cow and, well even more depressed!

    I am also wondering if the Doc never told you that it will take 4-6 wks afore the drug really starts to kick in?? Thats maybe why (wi the alcohol) you felt like you have re-lapsed, but really you haven't been on them long enough...? I don't know, just trying to suggest stuff that may explain if you don't know already.

    And yes, as far as I know the drug will effect the way your blood clots so thats why your cut took soo long to stop bleeding.

    If you can, try and talk to your Mum and maybe that will help with understanding. For both you and her... if that is possible, then maybe you and your parents can both understand a bit and that might help tensions??

    I hope I haven't just said stuff you know already and that maybe you can use some of this...


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  • Posted

    doc said it would probably take about 2 weeks for tablets to start working. she didnt say i cant drink but i would get drunk a bit quicker (i could only drink 1 glass before i was in giggle mode and then by number 3 i was completely off my face) it didnt depress me in fact it was the most fun iv had in a very long time. i was feeling better after being on the tablets for a couple of weeks
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  • Posted

    Ive been onmy tablets for about 13 weeks, and I am suffering a relapse at the moment, cant figure it out. I have increased my dose, bit worried that 12 weeks from now I will relapse again, what then?
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  • Posted

    Hi Melissa

    Want to chat about it? In what way have you relapsed?

    I'm only on day 3 so my pills haven't kicked in yet obviously. Been having a really bad day. sad


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  • Posted

    Hi Miss JR,

    Thanks for your reply,

    Past 4 days, my intrusive thoughts have come back, the feeling of losing my mind has come back, feeling like I have an electric curent running through my mind, and worry has resurfaced.

    I feel almost like I did before I started the tablets, I thought I was on the up, had a few odd days but that was while I was waiting for tablets to kick in, Because I had been doing so well, I had made the decision to half my dose after Christmas to see how I do, I didnt want to increase the dose.

    My Therapist told me he thinks its more a hormone / chemical imbalance and that its not really psycological. I guess I find that a little scary, because I feel like what ever is happening is out of my control.

    How are you doing on your tablets? How are you finding them? And how have you been feeling that lead you to seek some help?

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  • Posted

    Hi Melissa

    I can understand how you must be scared if your therapist feels it is more of an imbalance than anything else. I guess you just have to go with it, keep taking the pills at whatever dose seems to help for now and try not to worry too much about the future for the time being (all easier said than done I know).

    It is still really early days with me on the flu. They are making me feel a bit panicky on waking and giving me a mild upset tummy but nothing I can't handle at the moment.

    For me I know that it is more psycological and it scares me that the pills will never have any effect but I can hope. I am having my first session tomorrrow with a counsellor. I have some unresolved issues from my childhood which I think (but don't know for sure) are what has caused me to be the way I am today.

    I just want to feel normal, whatever that is. To wake up and look forward to a day than just wishing I wasn't here and wanting to escape back into sleep. I want to be able to see the beauty in life.

    It really helps being able to write this all down to people who are all going through similar things. Other people try and help but they just don't understand.

    Keep posting Melissa.

    Miss JR. x

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