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BAFFLED BY CARERS ALLOWANCE

Posted , 5 users are following.

sheila135
sheila135

I am a 24/7 carer for my husband, I am 72 years old and cannot claim for Carers Allowance because I get a full state pension. 

What I cannot understand is that if I wanted a day off for a break I would have to pay for a carer by the hour out of my own pocket.

I have looked into it and you have to earn less than a certain amount before you can claim Carers allowance, so by getting a state pension I am over the income limit.

If I walked out of the house tonight and never came back my husband would be taken into a care home and looked after by the government, costing thousands of pounds, so why can't they give me a measley £60 odd per week for me to pay someone so I can take a day off.

I never stop, I have bought walkied talkies so he is in constant touch with me when I am making meals in case he needs me otherwise I am up and down the stairs, I have to shower and dress him. Make all his food etc.  I will always look after him but I need a day off once a week for myself, all my friends have gone, I see no-one from one day to the next, my sons make a flying visit and I am making meals and cups of tea for them. They text me asking how their dad is, never ask about me.

On the leaflets it states Carers allowance is NOT means tested but that means your savings are not taken into account but your income is.

It is about time that carers got what they are entitled to, if we all downed tools there would be one hell of a mess, and thousands of patients would die because there was no-one to look after them, they would be put in hospitals, care homes, that is if there was room.  The government need to think about that instead of giving money left right and centre to people who have never paid a penny into the coffers in their life.

0 likes, 25 replies

25 Replies

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  • sue34151
    sue34151 sheila135

    Posted

    Hi Sheila just reading through the messages and your discussion with hypercat

    and just wanted to say that I think times have changed so much that children once they have their own family really only concentrate on their own lives it is sad because as we get older it would nice to be thought about other than babysitting services and school collections it seems like I only talk to my daughter when she needs me for something I'm not really complaining because I am used to it, I know she has four children ranging from 16 -4 but it would be nice if we spent a bit of quality time together, I know it's the same with her inlaws they get the same treatment but sometimes it would be nice to be involved in the family circle. Maybe that's how the world is now, I look after my elderly mum and often bring her home for the weekend I always let my daughter know she is here but she rarely comes over unless it's to leave the young one with me, and I have to say that looking after my mum and a very grown up four year old they are both so alike both wanting full attention every minute anyway, I dread to think what will happen if I need any help later I will have to put an SOS on Facebook and take my chances. Stand up a little bit and let them know you need some support and if they can't rise to it well at least you know where you stand and they won't be popping round and expectingwaiter service.

    take care sheila

    kind regards

    sue

     

    • hanb
      hanb sue34151

      Posted

      Dear Sue, as one of six children, with families and careers of our own, but who just nursed a parent to death, in their own home, in accordance with their wishes, I have to disagree. 

      I fully comprehend that nowadays we are one of many exceptions to the rule though. 

      I've been brought up to understand that if you have a problem, your family are the first you can ask for help, no matter which generation you are, so we teach our children this to. 

      :-)

    • sheila135
      sheila135 sue34151

      Posted

      Gosh you sound just like me and a few of my friends, only seeing our daughter-in-laws when they need child-minders.  I do think times have changed and they only bother bout their own lives, but that is why i am loathe to ask for help as one day they will be in the position we are in and what goes round comes around.
    • sheila135
      sheila135 hanb

      Posted

      You say you are one of six children, that is a lot of you to take it in turns to look after someone. When there are only two sons who do  not live near and work away all the time, the majority of the caring falls on me.  There is a heck of a lot to be said for large families.
    • hanb
      hanb sheila135

      Posted

      We all live in different Counties. We each live no less than a 3 hour drive away.  She needed 3 to 1 care, so we worked together in shifts. In our family, it's the done thing - care for those you love, or don't expect love, care or respect. We all relied on either compassionate leave or unpaid holiday. Also, we have never left our children with our parents, that is not why we have parents, that is why we are parents, it's the manner in which we have been brought up. If we can't be completely responsible about anything in life, we shouldn't take it on. 

      Best wishes. You're welcome to get your son's to read this xx

  • sheila135
    sheila135

    Posted

    I totally understand what you are saying, and today my husband died and my two sons were there as they had both come over to see their dad knowing he was ill.  They told me, after listening to me talking to the doctors, they didn't realise just how much I did for their dad as they never saw the black side of his illness, only saw him when he was feeling better and that they did not understand the pressure I was under, but seeing it first hand when their dad was rushed into A & E, has made them realise just how much they didn't know about what I did for their father, all they saw when they visited us was their dad sat in his chair with his oxygen, smiling and cracking jokes because he put a brave face on for them as he didn't want them to worry about him. they didn't think about how he had got washed, dressed and brought downstairs.  I agree families should support each other but sometimes we keep things hidden from our children inn order to protect them even when they are full grown, and that is what I did.  But now they know, too late.
    • hanb
      hanb sheila135

      Posted

      Love, light and*hugs* to you. 

      hanb xx

  • hypercat
    hypercat sheila135

    Posted

    Oh Sheila how awful for you,  you must be devasted.   I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts and prayers are with you sweetheart.  xx
  • sue34151
    sue34151 sheila135

    Posted

    Oh Sheila  I'm so sorry to hear about your husband I feel so sad for you, it's so difficult when you are a full time carer everything gets on top of you and you just need a few hours to yourself but you never get it without worrying about your husband. I'm glad your sons have at last realised how hard it has been for you even though it is to late for them now, I hope they will be able to support you now when you need it the most. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    suex

  • eileen39770
    eileen39770 sheila135

    Posted

    So sorry to hear about your husband sheila you have to look after yourself sheila I know this time will be difficult for you after being a 24hour carer but take time to heal my thought are with you be strong hugs sent xx
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