Baring my soul

Posted , 5 users are following.

I've reached a point where I truly need help. Like I'm at my wits end after five months of OCD.

My obsessions have been like this

Health 

Sanity 

Existential 

Identity 

Sexual orientation 

And now POCD or Pedophilia OCD 

Each obsession has used memories or anything it can find to support and prove the obessions 

With this one is no different I've made some mistakes in my past that it keeps latching  on to 

I'm in the midst of giving up porn as it has become a coping mechanism and by nature a porn addiction. I started watching it when I was young like 12. I am now 22. In a decade of porn use I have graduated from normal to extreme to get the same high as with any addiction. 

While I have never watched any child porn I did watch amateur porn where sometimes I know the women were not all of age. I've watched things I'm ashamed of and worry about makes me attracted to underage women though I've never had any physical contact with anyone under age 

And now at 22 trying to ween myself off of porn I feel the fear of arousal when ever I think back to those images I can't tell if it's the porn my kind is conditioned to want or if I'm a monster 

Can someone please help, or message me please 

2 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Posted

    Have you visited a therapist?   They can help you.  There are also support groups for addiction too.   This is the best thing for you to reach out to a professional. 
  • Posted

    What medication are you taking Christopher? 

    Neil 

    • Posted

      And I am seeing a therapist for the pay five months and she has helped but this obessions feels the real way and scariest of them all and I'm not sure how ERP can help for this one cause I don't wanna accept it being possible 

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