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Hi everyone Hope you are all well.
I've been trying to get on with things to day and work through it... but my anxiety is definitely back to extreme levels.
The woozyness is worse again, my sinuses feel awful (like I have a nother cold,) and my ears are popping and have pressure... I am sure if anyone were to read this, it wouldn't send alarm bells but to me it is hard not to return down the old route of a brain tumour.
I feel a bit dettached from things and am finding it hard to navigate around, or just think clearly This is a lot to do with the fact that my mind is firmly placed on ONE thing and ONE thing only... AI also think whatever problem I have with my ears/sinuses are making me feel a bit dettached.
My eyes are also a bit funny. I just feel like I need the pressure in my ears to ease and I would be able to get past a lot of this...
I picked up some herbal calming remedies last night and they did work. I don't want to take them during the day, however because they make me feel quite sleepy.
I keep having this awful thought that I am not going to be around and that I am going to leave those I love behind. i used to have this thought about other people that I love leaving me, but never this way around and so I find it very upsetting. Because i have quite bad OCD I sometimes see these thoughts and feelings as 'signs' that something is wrong... I know it sounds very strange, but my anxiety is quite bad at doing this to me... So I find the whole thing terribly upsetting.
I suppose if I were to look at it rationally, I am worried about myself...and I suppose worrying that I could end up not being around is a 'normal' worry... but it isn't like a little worry it is a big thought and feeling that invades me and can sometimes put me on the verge of ringing my GP again.
Does this seem to anyone like my OCD is getting worse again? At one point my OCD was very bad, but it was channeled in a different way - though it still controled my thinking.
To make it worse, my counseller canceled our appointment today and so I can't go through any of these thoughts
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