Been addicted to masterbating and its compltely ruining my life. Dont know what to do.

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Im 26 been doing it for about 15 years now but it has come to the point where i cant go a day wothout it, ill do it up to 12 times a day sometimes, when i try and stop its extremely difficult. I get really angry, nervous, and very depressed and i have only lasted up to a week really trying and then something clicks and i have to do it, and from that moment on soon as im done i need it again and again, and it makes it even harder to stop next time. Its ruined relationships for me and future ones now i think, and my body has really really been messed up but still cant wrap my head around the fact im doing harm to myself and injuring myself..please someone with any tips anything i can do or anyone i can turn to.

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  • Posted

    Hi Steve,

    My first response to your scenerio is, "You're 26; you should be masterbating".  But, something tells me that you might be trying to fill a void.  This could be a wonderful opportunity for you to get some therapy on this subject.  Maybe some meds could cool things off for you  But, it begs for you to start getting some "professional" help/assistence in order for you to gain some personal growth.

    Trying NOT to do something doesn't seems a great way to stop that activitiy.  It's like an overeater trying to cut back on the very thing that brings them pleasure.

    How is masterbating harming your body?

    My best advice is to sign up for a "mindfulness" program onlin or at a nearby hospital.  Did something like that 15 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did.  You can't expect to change your behavior unless you change your thinking.  What a wonderful opportunity.  My best wishes!

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    • Posted

      Thanks for the reply dave

      Yes i have went to a therapist before about depreasion and told him about this problem and even told him i took sand paper to my, you know what (i know sounds insanerolleyes) to try and stop, he didnt seem to think its an issue, that was in the winter, now i just been really trying on my own but it seems useless because i have this feeling that comes over me and tells me its okay andd ill never get better so just do it..and its hurting my body because i have injuries from working out and nothing will seem to get me to stop even when im in aching pain. Not to mention mentally its like a bubble over my brain, its all i think about when im not trying to quit. When i do quit for a few days then do it again it grabs a hold of me again like a drug. And fills my head again.

      I really appreciate you replying goving advice!

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  • Posted

    I think you need should also consider finding a medical doctor who will work with you to rule out medical causes. Anything from hormones to a benign tumor can cause or increase troublesome and unusual symptoms like yours. Don't settle for a pat answer like it's all in your head or materbation is healthy to do as many times a day as you want. It IS a healthy activity but when consumes your mind and body in a way that causes you distress (which you are clearly in) then something is going on besides a healthy desire for sex.

    You should also consider that you may have a form of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and given how intrusive the thoughs and compulsions are you may need another therapist who can try some techniques to see if they help. Or take a look at a few books.

    In any case I think you should be a little easier on yourself and for goodness sake not harm yourself (with sandpaper). By the way does your sex drive feel really high or is it just the desire to masterbate that is really strong? Do you have a personal/moral/religious belief agaist masterbation that makes this distressing or are you trying to stop just because the desire is taking over your life?

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    • Posted

      Yea i think i definitely have OCD

      And my sex drive would be good but i havent had any in aboout two and a half years or a gf for that matter. Seems i have lost interest all together over the last while

      No beliefs like that its just mentally messing with me. The last year now i have begun to realize i have a great need for it and keep trying to at least quit doing it so much but even that has me coming back and doing it more and more even tho it hurts my body and mind.

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    • Posted

      I have a problem woth my right pec muscle, thats the main injury, been there about a year and a half because i cannot rest enough for it do have any improvments. Thats one main reason for quitting but it seems almost impossible iys crazy!
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  • Posted

    Hi Steve,  You have an opportunity, almost like a treasure hunt, to find a solution to this. My experience with medical doctors and especially mental health professionals is that you might have to searh for someone that you can connect with.  If you are not making progress do waste time, move on to someone else.

    I'm not being flip by saying this but have your thought about trying another hand or some device (that one that looks like a flashlight) in order to put less demand on you physically.

    Think about a 'mindfulness program'.  It really worked for me.  But, also, try not to be so jugmental about what you are doing and lighten up on yourself.

    Remember, "Discontent in the first step of progress".  You are making progress by voicing your discontent.  Now, take some action and find a specialist who can help you.  Regards,  Dave L

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