Being told constantly as a child that I’m useless is suddenly causing me severe depression.

Posted , 6 users are following.

Hi I’m really at breaking point just now and don’t know what to do.  All my life since I was very young my mother brought me up telling me I’m useless etc. She passed away 8 years ago and I’ve not had it so bad. However, lately I’m starting to feel worse than I ever have mentally.  My husband seems to criticise me more than he ever did, maybe he has right to, I obviously don’t do anything right.  I now have 2 grandsons and shouldn’t feel this way.  I break down in tears  all the time. I’m on Trazodone now, but I need help in some other way.  Sorry for going on to much.

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  • Posted

    Hi Carol

    I really empathize with you as I also suffered similar abuse from my mother. I was constantly told how my elder brother inherited all the good genes, leaving me with the rubbish ones, I was plain, nobody would ever love me, my dad didn't want me... It's hard not to believe it when it's been drummed into you for years... My mother is still alive and relies on me heavily as she is now elderly, something I struggle to cope with. Maybe one day I'll have the courage to ask her why she treated me as she did but somehow I doubt it. My husband is not critical as such but he is very unemotional and detached which only exacerbates the feelings of isolation and unworthiness.

    I am also on Trazadone, 300mg at night and also on Duloxetine 120mg in the morning. My psychiatrist did tell me that Trazadone is an old antidepressant that is rarely used nowadays as there are more effective ones now but it is useful in conjunction with other antidepressants as a sleep aid. I'm not sure how true this is though, it may just be her take on it. Have you noticed any improvement in your mood since starting on it? Maybe it would be an idea to try another type of it doesn't seem to be working after a fair trial?

    What other support do you have? Has your GP referred you for extra support?

    I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. You deserve to feel better and there is help out there, sometimes you need to be persistent to get it though. Not always easy when you're feeling low.

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    • Posted

      Hi Lucy1969 we sound very similar, my dad seemed to disown me too, I don’t know why.  I’ve been on trazodone for years now. They do help me sleep for a short time therefore I don’t want to change them. I might go and see my doctor soon and maybe see what she suggests, maybe counselling?  I feel better reading your message, I struggled for years looking after my mum.  I know how you feel about not saying to her about why she has treated you this way! My brother was the favourite too.  Hope you get some relief from this soon. Hugs Carol273.

       

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  • Posted

    I'm sorry..  Your right, you shouldn't feel this way and shouldn't allow your husband to criticise you,  Do you have a therapist to talk with?  A good therapist will help you get through these feelings.   You are not useless and if you start writing down your good qualities you will see this..   Take care and be kind to your self.

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    • Posted

      Thank you for this, I’ve always thought therapy wouldn’t work but I will give it a try. My daughter always tells me I’m a good mother but it’s hard to believe! You take care too x
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  • Posted

    It sounds like you have been bullied for most of your childhood by your mother.  Since her death you are feeling it more as your husband now appears to be taking over the role that your mother created.  I would stop it in its tracks now and tell him it is not acceptable for him to be treating you that way.  He should be supporting you not picking at you! 

    Don't allow anyone to make you feel that you are worthless.  You are a person with feelings and do not deserve to be bullied and made to feel that way. 

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    • Posted

      Hi stephie2 , I told my husband how I felt tonight. He’s a good husband but we seem to be different in a lot of ways. I couldn’t actually talk to him about it as I would start crying again. I don’t get comfort from him when I’m upset, we all need this don’t we x
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  • Posted

    So sorry to hear you feel this way Carol

    You sound just like my mum , who was bullied by my mum, well horribly abused is more like the term. Then she was bullied and abused by my dad for years (we both were). It’s made her a nervous wreck and now she lets everyone walk over her and has low self esteem. 

    Just like I tell my mum- you are worth more than you will ever know. Pleas never allow someone else to make you feel like you are nothing. You sound like you are a lovely kind person. 

    I wish you well. Take care 

    Lisa x

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