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I have been afraid to reach out. I have lurked on Benzo Buddies for some time and last night found this group, and have been stalking it ever since. My family doesn't get it. I brought the Ashton Manual to the Dr. and I got a "well that is interesting," dismissal. I am afraid to reach out to friends lest they reject me. So here goes: Oct 5 I was hospitalized for depression and taken off of 8 mg of Xanax and 60 mg Prozac. I had slowly gone up from .5 mg as needed to 8 over 17 years. I had been on 8 for the last 4 years. Half-lives aside, I was put on 1/2 the equivalent of klonazapam and some unpronouncable antidepressant and then 3 weeks later 20 mg of valium and cymbalta. The withdrawal has been unbarable, everything is amplified, my depression and agoraphobia are worse, I am irritable, too dizzy to drive, my vision is blurry, sometimes things taste funny or I am sensitive to bright light, I am completely lethargic, I can't read anymore and I can barely watch tv becuase I am so addled I can barely follow along and comprehend the meaning or remember what just happened, I constantly struggle for words I can't sleep and now my panic attacks are worse than before I was prescribed the xanax.
I want to taper off the benzos entirely, but I was hoping that I would/could level off from all of these crazy withdrawal symptoms first. So my question is, do you ever level off? Ashton says it can take up to a year for some people to withdraw. Am I just stuck with these symptoms until and well after it is out of my system? What should I do? My Dr. just wants to prescribe antidepressants. I am really drug sensitive and often have allergic reactions or bad side effects. I had terrible side effects from the Cymbalta. After a month I went off of it and haven't taken anything but the 20 mg of valium. I don't know what to do at my next appt. becuase he's gonna get the prescription pad out, and I am afraid of what's next. I am also afraid to tell him I want to taper, because I am still having all of these side effects and if I do continue the taper, I want to be in charge of the amount and take it slowly.
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