Bereavement My wife says she has fallen out of love

Posted , 6 users are following.

hi everyone

a little over a year ago my wife’s friend took her own life. a few months later we got married (which was already in the planning for a couple of years) unfortunately the short period between her friends death and the wedding I think wasn’t enough time for my wife to come to terms with her friends death. she put on a brave face for the best part of this year which I thought she had dealt with it . it has recently turned 1 year anniversary of her friends death which my wife has been hit hard with this. she has now started councelling to help with the anxiety and depression it is causing her.

She now has said she has no feelings of being in love and has distanced herself from me.

I'm struggling to stay strong for us I love her so much and do not want to give up on our relationship. Has anyone else gone through this kind of situation 

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    It does sound like she hasnt got over her friends death.  Have you suggested having some counselling? Maybe Cruse would help. You might not get many replies on this forum because there are quite a few of us that are suicidal and so guilt on our part rears its ugly head with this discussion! I would definately show/tell her your last paragraph because she perhaps could do with reminding that you love her and I doubt whether she would want to give up on your relationship either.

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  • Posted

    did you even ask her if they were in love ... the friend commited suicide.. 

    your wife felt marrying is important 

    now she is out of love 

    so tell me ... is 2  plus 2 five ?

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  • Posted

    Hi there, it is quite a common symptom of depression and I have seen it mentioned a few times on this forum, don't give up on the relationship just let things be as it is what it is at the present time. As she starts to recover you will see how things will change back to "normal", give her the support she needs even though the things dye says may be hurtful, I've said many a thing to my wife and I wonder why she's still with me.

    Depression is a nasty illness and hijacks rational thinking and leaves you feeling empty, numb and unable to feel normal emotions such as love, empathy and care.

    Youll both get through this I'm sure. Neil 


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  • Posted

    Hi, sometimes when a person takes their own lives it makes you question how you were as a friend, some people struggle with the fact that they did not see any signs and were not able to stop it from happening. It makes a person realise that loving someone is often not enough to save them. Your wife really does love you but realises that those we love we can lose easily so may have withdrawn into herself. Just continue to be the loving person that you are and when things improve with your wife she will be thankful that you stuck by her and understood that she needed time to grieve. I wish you both all the best .
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