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Better than I used to be

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alli5on
alli5on

So I've struggled with depression for about 7 years now. It always comes in waves. Before intensive therapy and being on SSRIs I had strong feelings of worthlessness and self hatred along with suicidal thoughts. I self harmed and had very low self esteem. Now, I don't have suicidal thoughts, I can see my future and the things I want to do but I am having trouble getting there. I still have the symptoms of not being able to get out of bed and having a careless attitude towards things I should care about, like my education. I have no motivation. I was thinking this is just a rut and I need to find something that fulfills me but I try to get involved with things I care about but sometimes this isn't even enough to get me out of bed. I would say I am confident and happy in who I am having trouble getting motivated to do anything.  Its like I have everything out in front of me but what I'm doing just seems pointless. I decided to take a screening to see if this is an issue of me just comparing my worst depression to how I am now. The fact is I can't say I'm happy really but I'm also not cutting or trying to kill myself. Is this still lingering depression or am I just in a rut like the rest of the world? I was reaching out to see if this has been an issue with anyone else out there and what my next steps should be. 

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • pennienik
    pennienik alli5on

    Posted

    Are you still on meds? I’ve been on and off them for years and to be honest couldn’t live without them. 

    Maybe you are stuck in rut at the moment and overthinking things. 

    Have you read any books by Claire weekes? She’s amazing, like she’s written the book about you. 

    We’re all complex people in complex lives and it’s just our reactions to things that are different to others.  Sensitive souls.... give yourself a rest, don’t over analyse... and get to the doctor. The right meds will do wonders for you xx

  • baraa272
    baraa272 alli5on

    Posted

    also if you don't have suicide thoughts now

    That means that you have something to do before you leave

    And you can't get there because you put limits on yourself

    There's some chains that holding you

    You have to break it

    You have to break that low self esteem

    Believe me

    Everyone have 1 life to spend

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