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Big decision to make & need help!

Posted , 4 users are following.

Jade292
Jade292

Hey,

Sorry I posted quite recently but just wanted a bit of advice as things have come to a head over the past few days.

I've been struggling with a mixture if anxiety/depression/OCD for the past 4 or so years, but have been able to work and study. I took a leave of absence from uni last year after a bit of tricky year, and just felt completely emotionally exhausted. I worked during that year and began to feel a lot better.

Returned this year, feeling better in general but also nervous about returning. I wasn't sure how I'd handle the stress and was worried about going straight into final year.

My anxiety got quite bad again over the past couple of months, and I started feeling terrified of going to uni - something which has never really happened to me before. It all just spiralled out of control, and the more I missed, the worse I felt and then the more anxious I felt.

Anyway,as  a result I have missed a number of weeks, and my tutor has suggested deferring the year (again).

I'm really unsure what to do! I feel it could ease the pressure and I do know of other people in similar circumstances so it's not unheard of. However, I feel like a such a failure, and would be so embarassed to join the year below me. I'm also worried about the financial aspect as it would mean more debt. I feel like I could potentially pass finals this year, but part of the issue is that my course is in healthcare. Attending placement is important, and having missed some, it's also a question of whether I would be safe to practice. I'm just really unsure of what to do, and just trying to talk to different people. Wondering if anyone on here has had a similar experience?

Sorry for the essay and thank you! :-)

1 like, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • ausfem
    ausfem Jade292

    Posted

    Hi jade I'm not in uni but returning to study after having my children its all a bit daunting but I've been doing it slowly slower Tha I should be I have my moments where I just want to quit o have taken this semester off as my head is just not in it but you know what the study isn't going anywhere it will be there waiting for when I'm ready don't worry about being a year behind everyone else its your journey not theirs and if your not ready your just not ready follow your heart not your head only you will know if you can handle it but if you ate going to be stressing maybe just defer and come back next year strong as I said the study ain't going no where think of your placement also I hate the fact I feel i let my workplace Down taking time off but on the other hand I would rather be there 100% than being there stressed and not my full self hope I have helped in someway good luck with everything xo
    • Jade292
      Jade292 ausfem

      Posted

      Thank you! :-) You're completely right, I need to not focus on everyone else and do it in my own time. It's still a bit up in the air but I'm trying to continue at the moment and see how it goes. Glad to hear you're getting back into studying too, and hope all goes well for you. :-)
  • stevo1975
    stevo1975 Jade292

    Posted

    Hey Jade, It sounds like things are a little too heavy and you need time out to settle your anxiety? are you on any medication for it as that will help significantly ? maybe ponder that with GP as you might be able to continue studying etc. I would put my health first before career as hard as that is your number 1 and you have to look after number 1!! Healthcare will always be there and if your tutor thinks deferring is an option take the pressure off yourself! Take care dont worry about feeling guilty or bad you are ill its not your fault wink
    • Jade292
      Jade292 stevo1975

      Posted

      Hey, thanks for your reply! :-) It's a bit uncertain at the moment, I've decided to try continue but there's still the option to take time out. I'm taking fluoxetine, which I think has helped with the physical symptoms a bit (I don't feel like my heart is racing or I'm going to vom), but I still struggle with unhelpful thoughts. Started with a new therapist last week though so I'm hoping that will help. Yeah you're right, it's so hard not to feel really guilty and weak. Hopefully I'll be able to get through the next few months, but at least the option is there to take the time out if I need I guess. Thank you for your help! :-)
  • Alwaysannette
    Alwaysannette Jade292

    Posted

    I used to be someone who could go to school, hang out with friends and family and work a full time job not all at once. Than out of nowhere I was hit by this relentless phobia about leaving the place I live. I slowly couldn't go to work, than I couldn't go to important appointments. Now I fight myself to go to the grocery store once a month and visit with my kids on the weekend for a few hours. I don't know why this came to be so bad or why something that sounds like it has similarities has happened to you. Take extra time and start the school year again if that's how you can take pressure off of yourself and hopefully win against you're anxiety. Take care of yourself so one day you can take care others.
    • Jade292
      Jade292 Alwaysannette

      Posted

      Hey, I can completely relate to that - it's weird and frustrating how you can go from fully functioning to just not be able to cope! At the moment I've decided to try continue and I'm hoping I'll be able to build myself up in time for finals (although there is still the option to take time out and start the year again). What do you think set yours off? I think with me, it's the fear of making an idiot of myself and getting things/doing things in front of people on placement. Thank you for your reply and I hope you win against your anxiety too! Just got to take it one day at a time! :-)
  • lisalisa67
    lisalisa67 Jade292

    Posted

    How about online college studies? This way you are home and you can focus and do the studies on your own clock. There are many universities inline. Maybe the one you attend has this option as well. Not sure if you can keep your current major as its probably hands on and attending olacement is imoortant, but there are similiar majors of study. Dont give up so fast, theres options available. 
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