bike rider Ray

Hello Ray

Thank you for sharing this very sad news of Ray with us. If I remember rightly Ray went down with the symptoms of PMR whilst returning to England from a cycling trip abroad. What devastating news and almost at the end of his journey with PMR as well. What a shock for Ray's wife but what a way to go for Ray doing what he loved best. Do please let Ray's wife know that my thoughts and prayers are with her at this difficult time.

MrsO

Odiecass

Thank you for letting us know about Ray.

We know how difficult a time this can be, but comfort is taken that he died doing what he loved.

Sympathy to his family and may they lose the pain and remember the good times.

Very sad, I remember reading his posts. RIP Ray xxxx

Very sad news about ray passing i did not know of him but if he belonged to this group as he did then I'm sure he was a fine man

Hi all,

Like Sparklin, I did not know Ray, but what a lovely way to go....doing something you loved 8) .

My dear late mother-in-law died suddenly a few years ago from a brain haemorrhage while away on holiday in Lanzarote with some friends.....nice day, then just collapsed while getting ready for dinner & never regained conciousness.

YES....it was an awful shock for us at the time, but she was a fiercly independant woman who would have hated to be left in need of full time care, so for her it was the perfect way to go :cry:....and having had the experience of the days with PMR that I could not even dress myself, I have seen first hand how frustrating and de-meaning that level of dependancy is.....NOT something I would want on a long term basis :!: :!:

Yes....life is very precious....but there is a line between living and existing that hopefully none of us will ever have to cross

May you find fellow bikers in the next life to ride with for eternity Ray.....

Love, Pauline.

Pauline - how much I agree with you. My father died of a brain aneurysm at 49 - found collapsed at work and mercifully never got transferred to the neuro unit 50 miles away as he would have been a cabbage even with surgery. My mother had heart failure - she had had an arrest 11 years before and successful bypass surgery and had a fantastic \"extra\" 11 years. She knew where it was leading second time round and was terrified of being housebound and dependent on others - she did a full morning's work at the WRVS coffee bar that was her \"baby\", went shopping, had a friend round for the evening and then couldn't get her breath. She just crumpled forwards off a chair into the doctor's arms, he laid her on the floor and she went to sleep - no fear, no pain.

In both cases a shock for us but in the long run so much easier to live with, knowing they died in the middle of life, so to speak, which is what they would have wanted. I wish I could order something similar for me when my time comes. A University friend had a heart attack on the ski slopes - very young at 53 and after a horrible 4 years, and we all said at least it was doing something he loved.

I didn't really know much about Ray - before my time - but I do hope his wife has plenty of support and lovely memories because that is what is really important I think.

Eileen

How I agree Eileen.

My sisters and I often say how lucky we were with our parents. My father died after a day in the garden on his own bed aged 86 and my mum after five days of marvellous care after a stroke aged 93. She was moved to a single room and given a wonderful \"massage\" bed so that she would not get bed sores. Another splendid effort from the NHS and we are still grateful ten years on.

Difficult when it comes to whether we should choose our own time. My convent education and my lack of trust in human nature makes me feel hooror at legislation on the subject but what would I do for myself? Pray for a departuer like Ray's, I think.

Not entirely sure about the choosing my own time - except I do know that I do not wish to be kept alive artificially if I no longer have any meaningful input into life and am totally dependent on others with no level of dignity. Nor if I have intractable pain. If living wills or patient directives could be trusted to be carried out, fair enough. But they can't - there is still the possibility that doctors or family think they know better - DNRs are regularly ignored in the USA at least.

And the fear engendered by Dr Shipman has affected the GP use of pain relief - hospice is a wonderful concept but there is far too little of it in any country. I do have a serious problem with the anti-choice lobby who tell me that pain relief is there and life must be preserved - it isn't necessarily and in some cases the pain cannot be dealt with without putting the patient into a state where they are no longer \"living\" so making it rather pointless. There are also one or two disease states where I wouldn't want to be around when I die (if you see what I mean) - nor would I want anyone around if it were to happen, for their sakes.

Nearly all my family have had Ray-type deaths - so I will hope I go in a similar way. Quick, painless and reasonably unexpectedly! I really don't fancy being part of a dramatic deathbed scene. My daughters know what we want - and I've threatened to have DNR tattooed across my boobs so when they go to start CPR they can't say they didn't know!

Eileen