Binge drinking problem

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I'm in my mid 30's and i've had a problem with binge drinking for the last 10 years. i only drink white wine and i only drink alone. I started drinking when i was between jobs. At various times i have become worried about the volume i drink and i've always cut down, usually i will average about 1 & 1/2 bottles  in the evening if i have the next day off work.  Problems at work recently have made my drinking worse - I now drink in the evenings and have turned up to work with hangovers. I have been off work using some of my leave for the past 2 weeks and i have drunk 4 times 3 bottles each time. Although i've always known my drinking is excessive and have read various forums i have always been put off seeking help as everyone elses problems always seem to be far worse than mine and I didn't want to seem to be making a mountain out of a mole hill. I haven't had any bad side effects from my drinking (health, work, etc) but i've got to the point where i now realise that i'm giving up the chance of a healthy social life just to stay in and drink. I dont want to go to AA or tell my GP if i can help it. But i dont know where to begin helping myself! Any advice would be appreciated.

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15 Replies

  • Posted

    I only joined 5 days ago and this is a great forum. People will not misjudge you and only try to help. I was unemployed and made redundant several times AND have a family to support AND my wife was unemployed suddenly. Did find a job and did not last but not my fault. Working now and going well. No drinking at all for two years but you have to think about what is most precious to you in life. Hard one....do not worry and keep reporting back to us if make some progress.
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    • Posted

      Thanks for replying so quickly. It helps to hear someone else has got some control over their own problem. Perhaps i should have done this along time ago rather than keeping it to myself and feeling stupid.
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  • Posted

    I wish I had something wise and meaningful to say, but all I can say is well done for seeking help.  It really does help to have the support of people who understand and don't judge you.  Good luck, I look forward to hearing of your successes.
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  • Posted

    trev,.....first thing you need to know is you are not alone. there are so many of us who do the exact same thing as you do.

    i guess i have a question for you, why do you choose to drink alone and not out socially with others?. thats definately a concern, as I have chose to do the same thing. Its definately cheaper to drink alone, but alot more depressing as well.

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    • Posted

      It's a difficult question to answer, I suppose when i first started drinking i drank socially but i would feel embarrased because i'd had too much drink but instead of doing something about it i switched to drinking alone. Also its easier to tell yourself you dont have a problem if noone else is able to comment on it.
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  • Posted

    Hey Trev, thought I'd just write to say hi and offer my support, as our situations sound very similar. I've been sober a couple of months now but I was drinking alone, very concerned about all the various effects of this, but reluctant to take the step of AA because I felt my drinking was small in the grand scheme of things, and hadn't reached the life-destroying stage that is the cliche for alcoholism. I too was functioning well 95% or more of the time in my daily life. It's not helpful to compare your problems or the severity of your drinking to others though - certainly I'm sure no-one on here would judge you based on this. Just know that in your life, for you and your own current circumstances, drinking has become a problem. Try and let go of the guilt in all it's forms. Accepting to yourself that you have a problem and that it's not your fault in any way is a step. For me it was a big and useful step to realise that (after several failed experiments at reducing my intake, setting limits etc) sobriety was my best option. I started to contemplate a life without alcohol and, in amongst the fear and uncertainty, there was a certain delight too. Good things await you. I think posting on here is helpful, and keeping this thread updated with your progress might help. Because you drink alone (as I did), accountability is quite important - so although you might not want to tell a GP or a counsellor, think about whether there's a friend or family member you can share this with. Also, have a look online for books that might help you - the Allen Carr book or the Jason Vale 'Kick the Drink' books are both good. Best of luck!
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    • Posted

      I didn't realise before that there would be so many others who have had similar problems as until now i've only come accross two people who i know had a drink problem and both drank far more than me. It helped me pretend i didnt have a problem. I will take a look at these books. I think i've also got someone in mind to talk to about all this. So i will keep everyone updated.
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  • Posted

    Trevor, how long do you go between binges? Is that period of time shortening? What is the reason for you not wanting to talk to your GP? Embarrassment?
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    • Posted

      It has been shortening, usually its just at weekends but i've been finding myself drinking during the week once or twice. I dont have any real issue with speaking with my GP but at first i would prefer to stick to speaking to people on this site and a friend of mine and take it from there.
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    • Posted

      I asked that because the best way to deal with the issue may be to get medical help, either in the form of a detox, if you get physical withdrawal symptoms, or Nalmefene which can help you reduce your intake. There is lots of information about Nalmefene in this forum and all over the internet.

      I would guess that you may be ok without a detox at this point since you often go days without a drink, but don't let it get to daily drinking or you may find it gets even more difficult.

      This site is a great place and there are lots of people who can share stories and give good advice.

      Good luck!!

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  • Posted

    Hi TREVOR, please don't feel to badly about yourself, you are not in any way a bad or weak person... you can do it... I was a full-blown alcoholic, and I mean really full-blown... I have been well for twelve years, there were many, many slip ups before that..... you will find that it will get easier and easier the longer you abstain, and the cravings do disappear after a length of time... it will be the best thing that you ever, ever do, for your health, your pocket and your SELF ESTEEM.... if you have hiccups, just start again, ( I had too many to count ).. but I made it... so can you....I wish you all the luck in the world x sincere regards to you, Deirdre xx
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    • Posted

      Wov Deidre! What a story you had to tell and your perseverance is the key to it all. This is great support and experience you are giving Trevor. Well done.
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    • Posted

      I think i'm just a bit stunded. I started a drink log last weekend and was shocked at how many times i got drunk in only one week. told myself to try and go for one week without but lasted 2 days. I suppose when i put it down in black and white i couldn't make excuses anymore! Been feeling a bit down in the dumps today and doubting how capable i am going to be but I suppose thats just to be expected. It helps to hear so many other people who have had similar problems but have got to grips with it over time. Thanks for sharing this forum is making me more determined little by little.
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