Posted , 5 users are following.
basically today has been bad. I had a big binge, my mum starting blaming me and I started giving myself bruises. Don't know what to do about the binging. It really Makes me hate myself and I feel so empty, worthless,ugly, fat etc etc. I'm running out of steam to keep moving forward, can you please tell me what you do when you feel like this? Many thanks, Lily
2 likes, 5 replies
We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.
Ajay1992 lily72326
Posted
lily72326 Ajay1992
Posted
staypositive123 lily72326
Posted
lily72326 staypositive123
Posted
katlouise1989 lily72326
Posted
I find music is a good idea, and there are lots of things you can do to take your mind off the challenges you are facing.
Sometimes it's good to sit with the uncomfortable emotions you are facing as you can't run away from all situations.
Writing down why you hate yourself, and what it is you hate about yourself, then working through the problem by using CBT approaches is one way.
E.g. I hate feeling so fat in my stomach after eating this soup. Fat is a healthy and essential part of my diet. There is limited fat in the soup I ate. The feeling I am experiencing is mostly water. The fullness I am experiencing is actually in my intestines and not my stomach. This is caused by gravity.
(I do this when I have stresses about my weight...)
I also have a self soothe box which I use for when I want to use unhealthy behaviours. There are all kinds of different sensory elements, like an amazing teabag, a stress toy, notes reminding me to do things like act opposite. (e.g. if I am inclined to skip a meal, it reminds me to eat that meal when I panic). There is also a crisis plan, so when I have had a real panic, numbers of who to call and what to do for when I can't think straight.
Remember it's not your fault that you react like this. This is all the process of recovery, and if you are starting to eat more food, then you will also be likely to be experiencing binge episodes (until you are onto fully regulated meals with carbs in them). I went through this phase and I had an open discussion with my dietitian about how to combat the bingeing because I found that too distressing. So long as I was sticking to my meal plan, he was willing to meet me in the middle, and we found solutions to add snacks in where my body was craving energy. You can speak to your treatment team about this, but you shouldn't make sacrifices elsewhere (it won't work anyway).
It sounds like your mum is finding it really tough too. It sounds like she needs some support. It can be really difficult being a carer. Beat have a carers helpline and support groups for those who look after sufferers (whether its friends, relatives, etc.) I'd recommend - at a good time - you mentioning her giving them a call. Or even leave a link to the website in a helpful place.
I have found with my family that having boundaries are really helpful. Things like portion sizes, and what I can and can't do. It was really helpful last summer when I wasn't eating three times a day, but mum wanted to take me out whilst I was down to stay. We discussed it, and she mentioned that she felt uncomfortable being in a pub where I wasn't eating, so we compromised and bought a picnic, and I had a cup of tea. But it wouldn't have worked if we hadn't had the conversation.
We have chats in advance about meals now as well. Planning is really key.