bipolar

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Today am still reeling from this diagnosis,slept until midday after early morning olanzapine which is rare.Its really shocked me and made the whole of my life seem wrong.I feel so bad for all the awful things I did,that maybe could have been avoided if someone had picked this up before Im 40.Had to take diazepam for awful guilt type feelings,and fact that I am wildly overreacting to things.Can someone give me some advice on this,Im thinking after research that Lithium seems the best option but what does that make you feel like,will they ever let me go back to work?

I dont know how to move on

Jo x

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15 Replies

  • Posted

    I dont know the answers to all your questions Jo and it sounds like you have a long journey ahead of you. I work part time and my boss knows that I take lithium. So long as I do my job well he has no complaints about me. Other people work and still take lithium but that is a long way off for you. Do you have somebody in the personnel department who could offer you a gradual return to work? You mentioned that you work as a midwife which is potentially very stressful. Would a side way step into something else be less stressful? These are issues that you need to talk very seriously with your GP and husband as well as work. There are several good forums on the net especially for people with bi-polar. Best wishes Jo one step at a time.
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  • Posted

    Hi Pooh bear

    The occupational health Dr was going to organise a phased return for me before this diagnosis.I dont know if they will want me back now which is a terrifying thought.The psychiatrist said its vital that I am stable so that I dont make reckless mistakes,so far I have never made a mistake though,I was really conscientious and careful.

    I dont think we can manage with half pay.On the anxiety front,it still comes and goes,I try to manage taking just one diazepam a day but going out is a struggle again.I feel really guilty because my husband is so worried and has so much to cope with,also that my girls will suffer.Am trying to put these thoughts into perspective but often the thought that I would be better off dead creeps in,especially if I cannot contribute financially.We are going away next week for 4 days sans girls so Im going to try and look forward to that and try to get my head round this.

    Jox

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  • Posted

    Hi Jo,

    Just a wild thought, could the anxiety you get could be a side effect frm the olanzapine?.. or did you get anxiety before you started it.. some drugs can cause anxiety.. hope your days away are good x smile

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  • Posted

    The content of the original posting has been edited as requested but we have left the posting in place otherwise the thread becomes meaningless.

    Regards

    Lin

    Patient Admin Team

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  • Posted

    \"Bi-Polar\" - you are of course entitled to your opinion, as I am entitled to mine - and my opinion is \"what's the point in posting something like you did in a forum like this?\" Everyone has their own story to tell, just because Jo's doesn't match up to your experience, doesn't make it wrong, or her a liar...

    Forums like this are set up so we can learn from other people's experiences and support each other in a horrible time in our lives- not undermine each other! As for the \"Get a life\" comment - isn't that what all of us with mental health issues want to try to achieve ?

    Jo, keep your chin up... and try and enjoy your time away sans girls!

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  • Posted

    [size=24:f0aef589c6][/size:f0aef589c6][color=red:f0aef589c6][/color:f0aef589c6] BI-POLAR you seem very small minded, why could someone with bi-polar not be able to post on a site like this? There are plenty of other people with this diagnosis whom post here!.. Your comment about get a life is of no benefit to anyone... :roll:
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  • Posted

    Bipolar

    Im sorry you feel you had to post your message,it upset me very much,I dont think I will post again,I feel bad enough without that kind of attack.I wish the people who run the site would please take it off

    I dont think I want to post anymore

    Jo

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  • Posted

    Jo, i am not surprised that those comments upset you! they upset me as well, don't let anyone stop you from posting here, you have a lot of support from us lot, :wink: wit u all the way..x big hugs x smile from your Cyber friends xxx
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  • Posted

    hi there I've been following you all the way jo and I can unstand why you are so upset , I would be too after ready what has been wrote , I'm been going though the mill too , so it also upset me too , and I think many others who will be reading it too,

    I hope you keep writing as you mean alot to use , you give use alot of hope and faith and understanding , please keep in touch jo , I think you are lovelly

    sorry about spelling and gramma

    (((((((sending big hugs to everyone who needs them ))))))) [color=blue:b68c47d603][/color:b68c47d603]

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  • Posted

    Jo, the comments made by 'Bipolar' are not welcome on here. His or her comments belong to her/his own struggle. Please dont give up there are a lot of out here who do care about you, recognise that your struggle and are warmed that you choose to share it with us. Thankyou Jo.
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  • Posted

    Hi

    thanks to site for removing upsetting post,I was so used to everyone being lovely and supportive I was just really shocked.Thankyou all for goodwill messages,they really helped,I could have done without that negativity when I was at my lowest eb and you all brought me back up again.

    Actually had a really good morning yesterday,even laughed which I havent done for ages,but by afternoon the anxiety came back.i dont think its a side effect because Ive had it on and off for years,once for an unremitting whole year so I dont think I can blame the meds.

    Today someone from church called with flowers and listened to me going on for an hour which was a good break from the anxiety.I rarely see anyone during the day as going out has got harder.Am not vomitting much at all though so thats good,ups and downs.

    i guess i am going to have to gradually get my head round the bi polar thing,its mild according to the psychiatrist so I hope I can get on with life and not be blightes by it.

    Am worried about work,but all these things I can see are normal worries and must be kept in proportion.Thanks agian for support

    Jo x :wink:

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  • Posted

    Hi Jo I'm glad that you are feeling better today. Anxiety is a funny thing. You or me or anybody can be doing an activity that we really enjoy but still feel anxious. I have got into the cycle of being afraid of being afraid. Until you start the behavioural therapy distraction is the best thing. You seem to be doing the right things like going to the gym. I find swimming is good as well as pilates. Years ago I did Yoga anything to stop the anxiety. Self hypnosis is good too if you can find a cd that takes you through a simple relaxation technique and visualising a happy place to be such as a beach. I have tried all these techniques myself so I know that they work. My main relaxation technique now is my singing. I concentrate so hard on the music I forget how depressed or anxious I feel. Hope some of this helps. PBxx :D
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  • Posted

    Hi Jo

    Are you aware that we have a leaflet on Bi-Polar Affective Disorder - see [b:2ad3713005]https://patient.info/showdoc/27000128/[/b:2ad3713005]

    I don't know whether reading this will reassure you or make you feel worse but at least it is there if you want it. We also provide links to a couple of videos about bi-polar disorder - see [b:2ad3713005]https://patient.info/showdoc/50000102#31493[/b:2ad3713005].

    Are you also aware that there are a number of well-known people with bi-polar affective disorder, eg Stephen Fry and Robbie Williams so does it help to feel you are in 'good' company? Stephen Fry did a TV programme about it a while back - see [b:2ad3713005]http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/tv_and_radio/secretlife_documentary.shtml[/b:2ad3713005]. Also on the BBC site there is a video by a person with bi-polar affective disorder - see

    [b:2ad3713005]http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediaselector/check/nolavconsole/ukfs_news/hi?redirect=fs.stm&news=1&nbram=1&nbwm=1&bbram=1&bbwm=1&nol_storyid=5359764[/b:2ad3713005].

    I hope you find this useful.

    Best wishes

    Hilary

    Patient Admin Team

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  • Posted

    Hi Jo,

    I have been really busy at work so I just wanted to let you know that I'm still following your progress on this forum.

    Ignore the comments from that \"idiot\" earlier.

    Everybody else in this room is giving you great support and you can tell by the comments how much everybody cares

    Good Luck

    Craig

    x

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  • Posted

    dear Hilary and everyone

    many thanks for continuing support.I will look at info suggested.Im sure it will be really helpful.Writing here regularly really helps,today,the horrible anxiety is still there and diazepam isnt helping much.I made myself walk to the shop but I really hate going out and the gym seems just totally out of reach now.i dont feel very in control although I keep telling myself that the feeling of dread doesnt mean anything and it will go.If I tell myself that realistically nothing bad is going to happen and if it does it will usually not last long (eg daughters tantrum!)I seem to be abl;e to get through.my husband is away overnight and suddenly I really hate being on my own,I used to enjoy the change of routine.

    Have been packing for weekend away,I really hope it goes ok and that Im not an anxious mess the whole time,I wish it would go,I could manage otherwise.Am trying distraction,this does help,am feeling really sleepy in the mornings again and waking really late.maybe things will improve with new meds

    Youre all really important to me

    Jox

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