Bipolar Boyfriend says he needs time to sort through things that are troubling him...

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Bipolar boyfriend of 1& 1/2 years was kind of giving me the cold shoulder about 2 weeks ago when I was staying at his place. That was new; sure he has been up and down in the past but never aimed his moodiness at me before. I thought things were going great up till then. He text me the next day saying a lot of things are bothering him and he needs time to think and he will let me know when he is ready to talk. That whole weekend I did not text or call him. He keeps playing words with friends w/ me which is slightly weird but okay. He sent me a text on Sunday apologizing bout being so quiet he just has a lot of things to sort out. I said I am here for him when he wants to talk. He appreciated it but just wasn't ready to talk about it, again. He asked me Monday if I would still help him with his taxes. I said no problem. I thought I would go over to his place knock them out in an hour or so then hopefully we could talk about what was bothering him. No such luck. I helped him with his taxes, and then kind of lingered around hoping he would bring things up. So I just said so what’s going on? And he just shook his head & said I am so not ready to have that conversation right now. I said why not, we are both here in person. I don't want to have these discussions over text. He said he did not either but I keep pushing and he is not ready. Which I did not think I was pushing, but maybe so. So I backed off and said okay take the time you need. I was getting so upset and hurt by this time I started thinking I needed to get all my stuff out of his place. So I said I need to get my charger and may as well get my board games etc... I was trying not but was crying a little while I was trying to round up my stuff. And he said I don't know why you think you have to do that right now. I said what am I suppose to think? He said he did not know what to think either. He was not giving me any clue bad or good to what is on his mind about us. I have read articles on people in bipolar relationships and how you should stay present. Don't talk about the issues bothering them but still be present and continue life 2gether. Should I invite him to go fishing or something tomorrow and not talk about those things and just have a good time or should I remain silent until he comes to me ready to talk?

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  • Posted

    Hi In my experience he won't be ready at anytime to talk as that's how they cope !!!

    Being patient , understanding & supportive is the only thing a we can do & believe me I know it's not easy as sometimes it's really frustrating!!!!!

    I've been with my partner 2 yrs but it's taken time to learn how to cope with him as they find most normal things stressful

    It's really helped me to research this condition as I know not to take his behaviour personal

    Suggesting spending time together is definitely a good idea

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    • Posted

      Hi sadhna15793,

      Thank you very much for the advice. I will probably reach out to him this weekend and see what happens. Thank you again!

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  • Posted

    Hello

    You need to accept, if you wish the relationship to continue that He may now have this problem throughout His Life. Do you feel you can handle this problem with Him or do you feel the need to move on.

    Generally I would suggest He sees His GP, if not already, then you can work out a relationship. Whatever you decide, you could be involved in a long haul and it may be you will be unable to work out the cause of this codition because He may wear His condition like a medal He will bring out every so often.

    He needs to talk and possibly move on with you.

    Personally I do hope He recovers His past mood and will talk. Sad to say I am not convinced

    Be firm and kind you will need to accept the condition if you stay with Him and know the best ways to handle this unpleasent condition

    BOB 

     

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    • Posted

      Thank you borderriever for the advice. I do accept him as he is. I am a very patient and unconditionally loving woman, but I don't know if he wants space, time and quite to deal with his demons or do i just press on with our life together and try to get him to engage in activities and just not talk about what is bothering him? I am sure every person is different on how they deal with episodes. And I am sure I will just have to figure out how he does. Thank you again for replying. =)

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