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Bipolar episodes rarely stop

Posted , 2 users are following.

Anon1234321
Anon1234321

Hi,

I was diagnosed with bipolar January 2014. Prior to this manic episode I had depressive episodes only. Or to say I was depressed for around 6 years straight wouldn't be an understatement, some days were better than others.

Since experiencing mania I'll admit, I do have a habit of chasing the 'high' of mania. I'm in a depressive episode right now. Haven't gotten out of the apartment or showered in over a week (gross, I know), haven't changed my clothes on 3 days (even more gross, I know). I'm just a slob at the minute. I don't care for anything. I just sit and watch time go by, which it goes by so quickly.

Tangent... anyway, I've noticed my periods of stability seem to last around 3 months at a time. But during that time I'm having hypomania and slight depression, then after around 3 months I get a full blown episode. I'm on lamotragine and aripiprazole for bipolar and pregabalin for anxiety. Why is this so frequent? I don't understand why my periods of stability are so short.

It's making it hard to hold down a job that I worked my ass off at university for. I've already lost two jobs because of this and my third is being quite supportive. But I know there's only so many excuses they'll take as to why I can't make it into work. I just don't care, but I kind of care in some way or I wouldn't be writing this.

Tangent again, sorry, I've not spoke to anyone in over a week. I don't think I've said a word in days now, so I'm rambling now that I'm getting things out finally... but, why so frequent? Is this normal to be so frequent with the episodes?

I have also been diagnosed with rapid cycling twice after impatient stays. And just bipolar on all other occasions. I've spent most of my time the past couple of years in hospitals. I just want out of this cycle, but I don't know how to break it. I go to the gym and try to stay healthy, I take my medication, what am I missing?

0 likes, 2 replies

2 Replies

  • Anon1234321
    Anon1234321

    Posted

    Probably should add that I've recently lowered my medication due to lamotragine making my hair thin. Also stopped my aripiprazole. I don't understand why my episodes are so frequent though. Maybe I just self sabotage

  • charlie79548
    charlie79548 Anon1234321

    Posted

    Hi Karen,

    Wanted to pitch in here because our stories seems similar in some ways.

    One thing to be aware of is, and this is just for me personally at least, high chasing isn't a good idea. I've found that the higher I go the lower I'll be afterwards if that makes any sense. I don't know if medically that is correct but for me certainly it has been.

    Second I really feel for you with your job situation. I had a really crappy time of things being able to satisfy work commitments and am now just about able to study for my degree and attend work but some days my condition gets the better of me. It is worth being aware of the Equalities Act 2010 if you are in the UK. This means that your employer cannot, or should not, discriminate against you because of your struggles. I Would also advocate being strong and keeping going- if you don't make it to work or gym one day, just pick up and know that tomorrow will be better.

    Lastly I'd say meds are a good idea. I have rapid cycling too and lithium, Quetiapine and latuda have been my saving grace and allowed me to live a stable life nowadays.

    Hope all this helps- feel free to respond or PM me.

    C

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