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Blank and don't care.

Posted , 5 users are following.

couchpotatoe
couchpotatoe

Every time I do anything.... It's the wrong thing to do. Every time I speak I say the wrong thing. I'm afraid of my own shadow. I'm fat,old,very tired and want everyone to go away.

2 likes, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • couchpotatoe
    couchpotatoe

    Posted

    I see my doctor quite often due to diabetes. Advice is to open up to someone and listen to their story. Perhaps see what they do to take their mind away from troubles.
  • amy_57955
    amy_57955 couchpotatoe

    Posted

    oh you are way way too hard on yourself.   I can assure you no one thinks of you this way.   You are judging yourself and no one else is.  Be kind and tender hearted to yourself.  You don't deserve to be treated like that.  You are God's child and can be a loving human being.     Unless you are hateful to others as you are being so hateful to yourself?    you can change this.   Seek help to turn your feelings around.   Look for joy and kindness and tenderness for yourself and others.   I pray things are better for you soon. 

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane couchpotatoe

    Posted

    Hi there. I am sorry that you are so sad and down I am glad that you see a doctor regularly. I see that he advises you to open up to someone and here you are opening up to us. Is there any particular thing going on in your life at this time? Diane
  • sam18386
    sam18386 couchpotatoe

    Posted

    Aw bless you! You perceive you are those things. Anyway if people make you feel like this you don't have kind friends! You need to pamper yourself to something nice. Go out, go somewhere you enjoy and ignore rude people or tell them to push off!

    • couchpotatoe
      couchpotatoe sam18386

      Posted

      I dont let people in anymore. I am so tired of being there for those that arent for you. I tell everyone that I dont care nor want them around. But what a lie. I dont want the hurt that come with caring. Im okay. I putter around and now chat with others that " KNOW" Thank you for your reply.

  • couchpotatoe
    couchpotatoe

    Posted

    this has been something I have struggle all my life with. I am 56yrs old and you would think these feelings would stop. I feel very alone in life. In 1998 I lost my little sister. 1999 my grandmother. 2006 my mother. 2017 my father,aunt and Uncle. I have children and grandchildren. One lives a long ways away. The other hates me. I was married for 17yrs to someone who didnt know how to be a husband and father. Now the past 15 yrs with a drunk. I do not drink. I just cant find the positive in my life. I am not suicidle I am just hoplessly waiting
  • Adldiane
    Adldiane couchpotatoe

    Posted

    Thank you for giving us details. I can see one thing you are a very strong lady that has experienced an enormous amount of loss. I'm so sad for you! But you are strong because the weak cannot endure that much loss and be here on this site asking for help. I'm proud of you! You are not a fat old lady. You are a courageous strong lady!! Have you considered going for counseling I have and I take Lexapro an antidepressant and I have benefited from both a lot. What do you think? Diane

  • wayne1962
    wayne1962 couchpotatoe

    Posted

    Hi couchpotatoe - if it's not too intrusive, I would like to ask what your childhood was like?

    • couchpotatoe
      couchpotatoe wayne1962

      Posted

      Middle child, too skinny, mild to med abuse. From a poor family. Great mother, so so father. Shy and selfconios .Started gaining wieght and a face full of zits. I always liked to make people laugh. Oh, did I mention Middle child. family with many secrets. Not a happy one.
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