Blown it!

Posted , 4 users are following.

Hi to anyone out there who can by help. As the title suggests I have blown my counselling today and left feeling absolutely shxx! Excuse my bad language, I don't know if I can come back from this having opened my heart to her completely. I just feel so vulnerable and broken.🤕🤮??🙁😞😟😢😭😧😦😩😒. Now what do I do I just want the pain to stop - completely! I have been on here before so feel unable to explain any more without getting upset, but she stops if that happens, I need her to carry on. I know it hurts but do does assault. She moaned that I was too detailed with what I said, rape is rape and THAT hurts not where I am, who I'm with etc. I am going to think about going back. This digs so much and buggered my wedding anniversary today. I feel really churned up and saddened. It's hurt me something chronic today. What would any of you do?

0 likes, 9 replies

Report

9 Replies

  • Posted

    First of all, you didn't "blow" anything.  You were honest with a professional who is who you should be able to share any deepest, darkest feelings with.  I thought I did the wrong thing sharing with all of my Drs, but we can't heal until we unleash the beasts inside of us to someone who should be your therapist.  Why do you feel so bad?

    Report Reply
    • Posted

      Just a quick update just to say l phoned the Samaritans in the end who were really useful. I will follow what they said as it made sense. Thanks to you too, both of you on here!
      Report Reply
  • Posted

    I thought that going into detail would be good for a counsellor to listen to, the more detail,the better understanding, is what I'd think, but that counselling ""talking one-on-one"'" isn't for me, as I used to talk, go into my past, get into details, and it'd set me off, real bad internal anger, rage, flashbacks, so I didn't like it, it sounds like ""my opinion"" your counsellor isn't good at listening, and listening is a big part of a counsellor job, So I'd look for a new one, But don't just go off what I say, as it's only what I know, been through, wait for someone else, they might say something different, better advice for you,than what I can say to you, And I'm sorry for what you going through.

    Report Reply
    • Posted

      Thank you for your responses. I will see what I think by next week I don't know about anything at the moment, my heart feels shattered! All of this hurts. I just want my pain to stop. I give up though with her attitude. I thought this was ok but now I don't know what to think. I'm so confused.

      Report Reply
    • Posted

      This is an update to those on here to say this got do bad last night I wanted to jump! I am fed up of the frightening flashbacks they're ripping me to shreds.

      Report Reply
  • Posted

    You definitely need a new counselor.  Look for one who specializes in trauma therapy.  

    Therapy does make you mad and sick and angry - it should.  Your PTSD is caused by all of that repressed fear and anger, which you are justly entitled to.  The more you go to a therapist - if she's good - the less those things should hurt you, but walking into a good counselor's office is still nerve-racking.

    My advice: tell your counselor how upset you are when you leave counselling, and how much it messes up your life.  My counselor didn't realize it was a problem, and when I told her, immediately taught me mindfulness techniques and ways to deal with the stress.  She also changed her tactics. 

    Also, now you KNOW how badly it affects you - set a routine.  I always walked up to the icecream shop after therapy - it was my reward.  It got me back to feeling ok-ish, and then I went to lunch, and then to the coffee shop to work.  That routine calmed me down and got me back to normal.  NEVER schedule trauma therapy on a day that's important to you.  You're dealing with serious s**t.  Don't let yourself be rushed to get better.  You deserve all day to recover from reliving rape.  

    I made the mistake of scheduling therapy on date night once, and cancelled the whole thing, bc for obvious reasons, I didn't feel like it.  I also was s**t at my sister's birthday party.  And spent all of my birthday worried bc I had one of my first therapy sessions the day after.  After that, I finally realized not to schedule therapy on good days!  Keep your treatment separate from the things that make you happy, and if you have to schedule that next appointment for two weeks from today instead of a week to avoid a birthday or anniversary, do it! smile

    Also, make your husband make up your anniversary to you, or vice versa.  You still deserve a celebration.  Just tell him you were all upset from counseling, and you really need this.  (Sometimes the best anniversaries are the make-up ones, where there's no money left for anything fancy so you just snuggle on the sofa drinking and making out.) smile

    Report Reply
  • Posted

    Hi people, I have put a different post on another page so hope someone will read one of these. Just a quick update to let you know that the session I had this week made me think 'should I see this counsellor any more'? I needed assault counselling but was psychoanalysis instead. Should I go back? Should I go elsewhere? I feel really lost and confused! Please help, what would you do?

    Report Reply
    • Posted

      Hiya, I'm sorry Sam, I can't say much about this one, I'm not clued up myself on ""therapy," counselling"", I hope someone else will help/give you a better answer for what you looking for,. This txting is my "*therapy"*, even though it doesn't do anything for me, it's somewhere where I can talk about what's going on in my head, , I can't just open up to strangers about myself personally, F2F, I think they testing, seeing if I'm lying, if they do believe, they only know from reading books what to do, Unless they have been through a traumatic time,( I don't wish on anyone), they just don't know what/how we feeling every day,all day. Hope you get a better answer again, Sorry Sam

      Report Reply
    • Posted

      Thanks Stephen, that's honest! I will see what other people say on here, but talk to us as much as you want. I wish you luck you have to find the right person. I think after barking at my counsellor it has altered our relationship. I hope fingers crossed that this now works.

      Report Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report as inappropriate

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up