Blushing and obsessive thoughts
Posted , 3 users are following.
Hi, don't know where to start really but i'm desperate to feel better and see no future currently. In some key points here are my current problems
Social anxiety because of blushing, aside from blushing im actually a fairly confident person when I don't have anxiety. I usually love a bit of banter at work but for some reason the blushing I just cant deal with.
Someone started at my work who makes me uncomfortable and i blush just talking to them which off course i get pointed out to me. I don't fancy this person at all, its purely the paranoia from blushing and looking silly. Since this I cant stop thinking about blushing and how I'm scum for blushing and very weird. I'm barely sleeping at all and have severe guilt as i've got a family. I'm petrified of this person at work now and am trying to avoid them at all costs. I'm scared I'll have to give up my job, these thoughts snowball to ill lose my house, partner and son and I'll end up killing myself. All this from going red?
I'm 3 weeks into sertraline and i've got worse since I started on it. However I was on for it for 6 years until 3 months ago and those 6 years were pretty good so I'm going to stick with it and hope they start helping soon. I'm tempted to take some time off work for anxiety but I'm scared it will look bad on my CV if i do need to get another job.
Anyway rant over and thanks to anyone that replies.
1 like, 3 replies
jan34534 moses234
Edited
sorry you are going through this. Remember that everybody has something about themselves that is imperfect. None of us are 100% perfect.
So I would say first off, you are not scum for blushing, And you need to get that word out of your vocabulary.
also, you are doing what is called forecasting, Which is predicting the future. The future does not exist and we in no way can predict it. So when you say you may lose your job and your house and your child and your partner and then kill yourself is forecasting which is part of anxiety and is in no way helpful to you.
it may be a good idea to stay on the sertraline and wait for it to take full effect. I also think it would be a good idea to speak with a counselor to help you manage all of this. Also if you have to take time off of work do it! that would be a great time to get the counseling.
Now is not the time to worry about how taking time off may affect this or that. Your mental health comes first. Nothing is worth losing our health over. If you need the break then take it. I did that once and it made such a huge difference!
it’s time to put yourself first and don’t allow anyone at work to make you feel less of a person. Stand strong. You have a lot to offer., With or without blushing it doesn’t matter. I do hope you get some support for this that will increase your confidence. I am sure that person at work that you don’t like has plenty of faults of their own. Try to relax and come back even stronger. Take care
moses234 jan34534
Posted
Thank you Jan and I appreciate you taking the time to comment. You are right about me forecasting, its got out of hand. I've tried to be proactive today and done a jog and lots of work in the garden. Back to the dreaded work tomorrow though.
sasical72 moses234
Posted
Hi Moses,
I know exactly what you are going through. I went through a long period of severe blushing and it was ruining my life.
When I look back at it with distance I think of all the time I wasted being unhappy because of going red. It really took over my life.
In the end I realized that, as with every other symptom of anxiety, the more you try to fight it the more it stays, this is a fact.
Every day I would dread going in to work, I would pray people wouldn't talk to me or even look at me for fear of going red. I didn't even mention it to the people closest to me. My husband once mentioned something about the carpenter and I blushed, so I thought he would think I fancied the carpenter, crazy crazy stuff.
When I finally made the decision that I wasn't going to avoid anything at all because of blushing, talk about it with a couple of close friends and to just let it come and do its worst, it subsided. Like magic.
I would advise you to not take time of work, that just reinforces the power it has over you.
Please let me know if you have any questions or if I can help you in any way.
Take care x