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Ok, feeling out of control this weekend. Blamed it on citalopram and havent taken it for 2 nights.
Ive been doing a lot of reading ( perhaps a bad idea) into the above. Now, I know that I dont like pigeon-holing etc-but I answered all 9 questions in this diagnostoc test thing, to a \"Yes\". The one major symptom which I have is the empty/bored feeling, The intense anger, irritability, and the odd urges to make myself feel alive. Substance abuse, the good and the bad. Maybe as i am older now there are less baddies than goodies-buts that true to say, as a simpleton, this all seems to fit. The low self esteem, feelings of being unworthy ( constantly) and lack of confidence, all my life. One thing though is due to me bouncing from I love them hate them thing...I dont fear abndonment-or maybe I do as rejection is a big thing for me.
When I was in playschool, the nursery nurses rang my mum and said I was socially inept, was finding it difficult to \"fit in\". My parents had to change me, and put me in a nursery. I still didnt seem to \"fit in\"but made friends with the doens syndrme kids as they had innocense and I could trust them.
These days, and by the looks of things , no one seems to be worried about this, I think its all apart of my package. Thiis isnt just anxiety-theres more. Perhaps it all stems from the strange relationship I have with my mum-its a total\"Love hate thing with her\" always has been and even the fact iI striuggle with sentence structure/grammar the whole package fits. Have I gone crazy? No, Ive just been this way all my life. A few yeasrs ago their was no name for this, and perhaps I am just shy. Another thing is I totally get that yearning to be loved thing.
My mum, is like me, my youngest is like me and we both have the same toe disformation. I am no Brainiac or medical student ( thank goodness I hear you all cry) but I think there must be a link somesort of genetic thing there. I also totally understand my daughters behaviour sometimes.That has made me feel les alone.
But am I right about this-or gone of the mountain?
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Posted
Lizy
Posted
Tv is boring and I daren't go up to bed.
What you doing apart from tree hugging.
I feel a little better today, not low but in my worrying frame of mind what did i do wrong at work last week. :cry:
I think I need to find a hobby to keep me occupied now that the kids are off doing there own things.
What sort of hobbies can you think of that are cheap.
Lizzy
Guest
Posted
Hi Lizy, can't think of any cheap hobbies! maybe going for walks? do you have a dog? I've been going swimming recently and I can't wait till all the kids go back to school so I can get a lengthor two in without getting dive bombed by a seven year old!!
Generally keeping busy has been my way of escaping my thoughts over the last week. I cant never tell if that's a good or a bad thing though. I can't stand being on my own for too long and I guess I'll have to be able to eventually!
Guest
Posted
Anyway, not been out alone for a walk yet. This is bizaree, whenn people are around me.sometimes Im argh!!! ( Back off) and then when no ones around me, im lik\" where is everyone?????
Ive not taken up hobbies lately. i dont like swimming as I am really self conscious of my bits, and also ( maybe I shouldnt) but was told people pee in the water, so I dont do that)I get too self conscious doing sports around other people , mainly because I am clumsy and probably because the way I felt in school etc.
On the upside, Ive manage to get the children to school, Ive been spending more time with the younger one, and weve manage to play FUN games-Im always naughty though. She finds it hysterical!!!!On the downside, I am inclined to agree with lizy-I personally think we as part of a socalled democratic nation should protest about the nonsense we have to watch on the television.....it makes my flat screen useless, and my tv license bill mundane, and an imptractical waist of oxygen resources :roll: Okay, Im away for some olbas oil!!!!!
TAKE CARE EVERYONE!!!!
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