Borderline Personality Disorder, suicidal thoughts & medication

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I've recently been diagnosed with BPD after suffering with depression since childhood (I'm 40). The older I get, the more I have no desire to carry on living and fighting. Major issues with self esteem. Was on Fluoxetine for yrs but changed to Sertraline a yr ago. Been off it 2 months as wasn't helping. Now prescribed Mirtazapine but concerned about side effects. Any advice gratefully received.

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  • Posted

    hi i take mirtazapine 45 at night and i find it helps keep my mood stable the side effects at first are a bit like a hangover in the morning also the lower the dose the more sedateing it is i find that at 45 mg i sleep well for a good few hours it well worth a giving it a go.  i have just added lophepramine during the day and am finding it a good mix with very little side effects. i also take 6mg diazapam a day. im 39 and know exactly how you feel give the mirtazapine a go the side effects really not as bad as some.  hope this helps.
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    • Posted

      Thank you donns. I will speak to my doctor. I'm glad you have found a combination of drugs which help you. I am at the stage where all I can think each day is that I want life to end. I have a demanding job which I'm (just about) managing to do. But I have no pleasure in life and feel emotionally and mentally exhausted. If there are meds which can make life bearable then I'm willing to try.
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    • Posted

      its hard feeling like this all the time im also agorabhobic so i can understand my life had become like that not takeing pleasure in anything im anxious all the time but the meds help with the darker thoughts and make things a little more bearable ive still a long way to go but with help and the right meds im hopefull that there is light at the end of the tunnel mirtazapine is good for my mood but not so much for my anxiaty the lophepramine is an older drug not so widely used anymore  but i cant take ssri's so my pychitrist has gone a bit old school and so far so good and the diazapam just keeps my thoughts from going too far i hope you start to feel better soon and start to find pleasure in the little things again soon.  i know how hard it is to try a new drug tried many but mirtazapine is good and the side effects few compared to some. 

        

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  • Posted

    Hi,

    I remember Mirtazapine knocking me out completely so I slept for 12 hours solid. Have you started your new prescription yet or are you med-free? I guess most drugs have side-effects to some extent - it's a case of whether the benefits outweigh any side-effects in improving our quality of life. I'm sorry that life has lost its sense of enjoyment for you. What things did you enjoy doing? This isn't intended to remind you of what you have lost but rather what you can re-discover when the time is right. Please don't give up on life however tired you may feel. Times when I've been overwhelmed and depression has taken hold are when I've had to make changes in my life. I wouldn't suggest making drastic changes when your energy levels are low but "something's got to give" somewhere in your life. Perhaps that means getting away from it all for a short time and giving yourself some perspective. You are obviously motivated to give your best at work, although the pressure may not be good for you in the long-term. Any chance of delegating anything in the short-term? Have you been offered therapy? There must be support groups for BPD; there's nothing worse than receiving a diagnosis (that sometimes feels like a "label") and being confused by the implications. You are still the same YOU and you are entitled to professional help. You will find the right combination of medication and self-belief to get you through this dark time. Please keep in touch. Best wishes,

    Digsby

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