Boyfriend has bipolar disorder and left me randomly?

Hi madison I too have a boyfriend (50yrs old ) who has bi polar & it’s been a very trying relationship since we met 3yrs ago 

Yes regular break ups , unusual behaviour, changes his thinking & thoughts continually!! In my experience it’s always going to be a rollercoaster so get of it if you carnt handle it because it’s not going to change 

I put up with it for various reasons , we live a distance apart (I’m 45yrs ) , have my own life , work home ect 

Not going to get easier so just have to accept or leave 

Where do I start my fiancé is undiagnosed but I’ve researched enough to know that a normal function of behavior is not what he has. I realized it when I constantly was on a roller coaster ride with him some days he is talkative but then he is distant. He can go a week acting normal loving me babe this I love you that then boom out of no where I’ve done something wrong he hates me. He has control issues he wants to feel important or as if I’m taking away his man good by simply asking him to communicate more or talk to me tell me when you wanna leave or thoughts in general. We are well we’re getting married in September but he had an episode and pushed me and put his hands in my face so aggressive I felt he wanted to really fight me yelling and all the kids saw this. It isn’t the first time they understand he has a problem we all see it but he doesn’t. He agreed to get couples counseling but even there she said he needed individual which of course he didn’t take it seriously. He refuses to realize he has a problem. After the counseling which she vaguely told him he needs to get help one in one which I’ve told him repeatedly but now he’s forgot and thinks he is superior and smarter than everyone now. I’ve tried it all I’m exhausted and embarrassed I have to explain To everyone the weddings off because my fiancé has a condition that won’t allow him to love, and show affection to me it comes and goes. It’s difficult I’ve cried prayed and all but he won’t get help.   

Hi 

Without medical help your hands are tied , he will only get worse ! This is not an illness that you can cope with on your own , you need help & support 

Medication stop you getting worse it doesn’t make you better 

My partner has more bad days than good but takes his meds religiously 

Get professional help 

Madison- I stumbled across this post attempting to seek answers for basically the same exact scenario. It appears I’m alittle bit older (25 and my husband is 28) but he is acting so similarly. His behavior has always been off (starting a few years ago) but recently (not even two weeks ago) has been diagnosed with bipolar 1.  He’s been threatening to get divorced because he “doesn’t feel the same about us” and “just doesn’t care anymore”. He will spend time 1:1 time with me, we have sex, we will go out with friends and then a few days into that he will ask other girls on dates, tell me blatantly, and threaten to breakup. We just got married 6 months ago after 6 years of being madly in love!!! He says he is going to get treatment (already goes to therapy and supposed to start taking meds) but this ongoing cycle of “pushing me into the corner” is exhausting. I work in the mental health field and this specific pattern of behavior is something I don’t see often and also am confused as hell. I realize this post is about two months old, but I really hope you get this and we can talk more. Please email me

-Cassidy

Moderator comment: I have removed the email address as we do not publish these in the forums. If users wish to exchange contact details please use the Private Message service.

Going through exactly the same thing . My boyfriend had dumped me yet again for the umpteenth time in 6 years saying he isnt in love with me anymore i have heard this on numerous occassions as well but always comes back to me and i like a fool go through the heartbreak all over again. He was on anti depressants which he recently stopped taking because he said he felt really happy mind you we were in florida on holiday having the best time 4 weeks ago , since we came back he has changed been very distant and stressed out he said and needs to focus on his life. Im thinking he has bipolar but he denys it but he definatly has some personality disorder just wish he would seek proper help x

This is almost similar to what has happened to me. Please read my post...I really need guidance and help

Hi Madison,

I am going through a hard time with my boyfriend. He has bipolar one. One thing I have noticed about him is he is never happy when I succeed or have social interactions with my friends. He is extremely critical of me all the time. We have differences in mono and polyamory as well (he is polyamorous). We have different life experiences and he gets mad that I have not experienced the things he has.

He was the first to tell me that he was in love with me in June. We have been on and off, since then. He experienced a manic episode two weeks ago from today. He came over and I took care of him through out: holding his hand and feeding him food. After we cuddled on the couch and he told me I was the last thing he wanted to lose. He continued to tell me that we have true love and that he will never push me away. Last Thursday, he woke up late for work. He is on thin ice there because he has poor attendance. I picked him up from work and he seemed off. He had been sleeping over my place for five days and things were mostly good. One argument on the first day but that was it. Thursday evening after he had gotten out of class, he started having another manic episode. He was extremely hyper and then wanted to leave and go home. We left to go to his place. On the way there he was critiquing me for not understanding him and then randomly bringing up the fact that I don't drive safe. He was very aggressive about it. I lashed out and left. The next day he still seemed off. He picked me up to go shopping and was dismissive and quiet the whole time. At the end of the car ride he said he was thinking of ending the relationship because he felt guilty about his illness. I pleaded with him not to think that. He dropped me off and it was the last time I saw him.

Sunday he sent me many mixed signals: didn't answer my call, didn't want to see me on Christmas, didn't want to have me over, after insinuating that he wanted to have sex. I lashed out with a text message. He called and ended the relationship. He blocked me on everything. I delivered a letter to him telling him that I'm sorry I lashed out and that I misinterpreted his thoughts. I knocked on his door but he had turned off all the lights even though his car was there. I left and twenty minutes later he replied saying he had been thinking of breaking up with me all weekend. His reasons were the issues about our differences. I know he loves me, and I really believe this is his thoughts and bipolar one illness. He doesn't want to communicate with me any more and has said he is moving on. I am giving him his space, but I am thinking of reaching out to him in a week. Can anyone advise on what to do?

My boyfriend of 6 years came home from a year deployment and told me the day he returned that he just wants to be left alone. I thought that he needed time to recoup, jet lag and to assimilate back to being home. He sounded a little irritated with me so I asked if this was his way of breaking up with me. He said no and just wants everyone to leave him alone. I backed off and told him if he needed anything he knows where to find me. a week goes by and I didnt hear from him. I messaged him and got no response. Another week and still nothing. a month later and I get one response and than nothing. I was sick and nearly died of kidneys and liver failure. I messaged him and still no response. After multiple attempts I gave up and concentrated on getting myself better. I had no energy and was in so much pain I couldnt sleep or eat and was worried about him more than I did for myself. In the 6 years we were together I was always the one putting in more effort than he did. I loved more and gave more. Spent so much money on him and he never once bought me anything. He was selfish. I sent him care packages ans never once did I get a letter or even a thank you. I noticed his Facebook post that he had moved. He didnt tell me. I messaged him again and he finally responded and his response to me was I am in a new relationship now. I was shock and devastated. He never even bothered to break up with me. He just ghost me with the silent treatment. Who does that? a grown 45 years old man who cant communicate to say he wants to move on or discuss why. He has the nerve to flip the blame on me by saying he has not heard from me in a year. Havent heard from me?!!! When I messaged him every day to weeks and told him I was dying! Not an ounce of empathy dis I get it was as if I didnt even exist to him. I asked him when did he start dating someone he said at the end of the year. I knew he was lying because he had just moved into a new home and it turns out to be her house! So he cheated on me a lot longer than that. This past weekend my son got married so I posted some picture on Facebook. I noticed on the very same day my son got married he also got married! He never even told me. Who moves in with someone and gets married in 6 months?! He never even broke up with me and here he's married. I have lost him forever and the worst insult of all is his entire family was congratulating them. He kept me a secret from them for 6 years. When he met me he was married and lied and told me he was single. I tried to break up with him and he begged me not to leave him. He was getting a divorce which dragged out forever. I tried to leave so many times and he kept pulling me back. I had a nervous breakdown and had to be put on antidepressant and xanax. He didnt give me a second though and off on his Honeymoon having the time of his life. What hurts is the way he emotionally abused me. I lobed him unconditionally flaws and all and did everything to help him. We even had a child together and I had a miscarriage. The pain is so unbearable. How can someone say they love you and rip your heart out like that? I am so traumatized I dont think I will ever love anyone ever again. My heart has been shattered and stomped on. I just want to be numb. How do you get over someone like that?