boyfriend's chronic insomnia is improved when he stays with me. Why?

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My boyfriend and I were friends for over 2 years before we actually admitted there was more to us than a friendship! During that time I learned he had chronic insomnia, had done for over 20 years. He sleeps a few hours a night, broken and is usually out of bed by 3.30am. When we finally got together and he started staying over at mine he found he can sleep for more hours and is able to go back to sleep when he wakes. We aren't about to move in together any time soon, is there a way he can develop this new sleeping pattern he had found at mine when he's on his own?

1 like, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Posted

    My thinking is that has nothing to do with sleeping. He is at peace. peace of mind help you rest.
  • Posted

    Surely it's because he loves you and only truly feels happy and relaxed when he's with you because it shows you love him back?

    Well, that's my take on it - very good luck to both of you!

  • Posted

    Hi Leah,this is the way it has been with myself for quite a few years as it is with your boyfriend.I have found that this is may be from chidhood.It can come from a sense of insecurity as a chid which may have began through a traumatic event in early years of life when the mind is quite vulnerable, and passing through events that have left him fearful.In our most impressionable years when difficult times are passed through the resedue is left within the mind and may not have been readily comforted by those who we turn to for the necessary assurance that enables us to get over such troublesome times.Having someone present when awaking in the night makes a difference, as he may possibly have been left unnatended even for a brief peroid which may have brought about feelings of uneasyness as an infant.
    • Posted

      Thanks for your reply. It's interesting as he did have a traumatic event in his adolescence and did feel unsupported. Even now so many years on he is clearly bothered by how it was handled. I doubt after so much time he'll ever square with it so it seems unlikely things will ever change for him.

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