1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Depression

boyfriend severely depressed

Posted , 6 users are following.

cassafrass87
cassafrass87

I am currently in a little over 2 years relationship and I love my boyfriend so much he is all I ever wanted and more. But the last couple months have been different. When I'm with my kids and he is at work or when I'm alone i fell calm and happy. But whem he is around I'm anxious and uncomfortable like I'm waiting for him to tell me I did something wrong. He has been very negative and he has severe depression and anxiety that he won't get help for. II is ruining our relationship. He says crazy things and says he's unhappy but when I mention not being together he panics. He constantly puts himself down saying he is a pos and no good and it would be better if he was gone. He says he is lonely and depressed. He gets angry at nothing he lashes out for no reason. This is not the man I fell in love with. He doesn't realize when he is mean half the time and blames me for everything. He is a hard working loving caring man but he has really changed from his depression. We used to do so much and have fun now he has an excuse everytime I want to do something. I want him to get better. I can't alow myself to be miserable with him I got out of a 10 year abusive relationship that I was miserable in. My boyfriend was a huge part of me getting away from. he relationship he made me realize my worth and he was so sweet to me. I really want the man I fell in love with back. He tends to say I feel ways about him that I don't and I found out his last girlfriend used to verbally abuse him and say things to him that he says I feel about him. I never say those things. I don't know what to do at this point. I don't want to leave him but how can he love me right if be doesn't even love himself. I'm lost any suggestions on what to do?

2 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • danny43
    danny43 cassafrass87

    Posted

    It might be hard to hear but, leave him its not going to get any better and you must think of your children first, he needs to concentrate on getting better and making himself better before he even considers being in a relationship, he's lashing out that is the biggest warning sign in the world for you and could be the only warning you get before he really loses it and kills you, he must get help but he must ask for it, stop feeling sorry for him and think of your kids

    • gary78460
      gary78460 danny43

      Posted

      not all depressed people kill,im depressed and have a partner and kids ,and i get angry dosent mean im gonna kill them all ,think he needs to speak to some1 tho ,maybe she could go with him,maybe relaxents might help,but leaving isent the answer all the time
    • danny43
      danny43 gary78460

      Posted

      And not all men hit their girlfriends and not all girlfriends would blame the depression literally making excuses for him to hit her, warnings are going of like police sirens every where
    • gary78460
      gary78460 danny43

      Posted

      she never said he hit her she said he gets angry,which could mean lots of different things,if hes hitting her then yes she should make a break away from him deffo
    • danny43
      danny43 gary78460

      Posted

      My definition of "getting angry and lashing out for no reason" is obviously different to yours

  • stevo1975
    stevo1975 cassafrass87

    Posted

    Hi Cass thats very brave to share your story with us, my advice would be to talk to him, be assertive but kind say you need to live in a happy enviroment for your children and so does he he has an illness which is not his fault and like many illnesses he can manage it thru a number of ways there is CBT (therapy) Medication. If he refuses to seek help he will never find happiness and he will hurt everyone in his life. Give him an ultimatum get help otherwise he cant love you if he doesnt himself. xx 
Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.