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Hi all just after some advise really. I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years. He's suffered with anxiety /depression since before we met. He's had periods of anxiety mainly where he's struggled but he's always communicated to me and we've worked through the issue together.
He came off his meds at the start of the year as he felt he was doing better. From what I saw and what he told me he seemed to be coping well. We'd always said we saw children in our future and spoke about trying for kids this summer. He'd been a bit unsure recently about whether he felt ready but we agreed to start trying in August. August came and again he said he wasn't ready and now was unsure if he wanted kids at all! I was disappointed but could see there were other factors placing stress on this decision like my job, finances, work needing doing on the house. We agreed to get this stuff sorted and then see how he felt as he'd be able to make a better decision (not based on stress or worry).
Anyway out of the blue this weekend he said he didn't think he wanted kids at all. He cant give me any reasons why, can't say what he feels life would be like with or without kids, can't explain his complete turn around about this. All he says is that he doesn't think he would cope, needs time alone and wants time to himself.
He also said that his anxiety has come back but hed been hiding it from me. He's been having panic attacks again and not telling me. Said he feels low and is struggling in general (not just about the kids decision). He said he needs to be on his own for a while as he's struggling and has shut down any communication with me about us and our relationship. I agreed to give him space and have moved out.
I'm just so hurt and confused by all this. I feel terrible that I'd not noticed how bad he was feeling. I'm worried that his anxiety is back as I know how debilitating it is. I don't know if concern about making the kids step has triggered the anxiety or if the anxiety was still there and that's affecting his views on things. Everything seems to have snowballed and he can see no hope for the future and is so down on himself and feels guilty and worthless.
I'm just wondering what to do. Like I said I've accepted the need to give him space but I feel he needs to get support again for his issues. I'm just after any advise as to how to understand this and support him and also take care of myself.
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