BPD and me (not Bipolar)

Posted , 2 users are following.

I always thought I was Bipolar and misdiagnosed with Major Depression.

​I am 52. I am seeing a new therapist (for 6 months now)..insurance coverage changed.  I am starting to believe that BPD does apply to me.

​i think I know everything and have researched many mental disorders but never really looked at BPD.  Come to find out there is not alot of research on BPD...certainly not as much as there is with Bipolar..and the 2 are very similar..hard for therapy to differentiate sometimes.  And I will tell you...the way we behave in sessions is very important...its very important to be honest and to be yourself as much as possible for a correct diagnosis.  Here are some things I have discovered recently about me and BPD:

​I am difficult to live with. I snap at everything....I get frustrated easily...i also left a very good paying job...I do things impulsively...I am always bored..so I leave the house all the time...things have to be my way and go my way or I am not happy.  I give silent treatments...I have strict bed times for myself...I get very mad if anyone is lingering when I am trying to leave for an appointment I'm attending.  I'm sure living with me can be h*ll.

2 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • Posted

    Well at least you know who you are now I guess and you know why you do the things you do.

    Can't not see that as a sort of positive, right?

    • Posted

      Thank you for reading danielle...yes I could look at it in a positive light..possibly...and I am trying to change..or soften some of my approaches to situations.
    • Posted

      That's fantastic that you're able to see the emotions you're showing and are able to hold them under some control 😃

      You should be giving yourself praise every time you notice and change. Maybe get yourself into a different way of thinking?

      I hope things get better for you in the future x

    • Posted

      Thanks again Dannie....my b/f name is Danny smile.

      ​I definetly NEED a new way of thinking....I have been thinking ONE NEGATIVE way for many, many years.

  • Posted

    Hi,

    I've always believed that knowledge is power and the rarest but most powerful knowledge is self-awareness. Not a lot you can do about how others think and behave but you have ultimate control over your own thoughts and actions so once you know how YOU tick, the battle is half won. It is still a daily battle though and don't think you must change to suit others - you're the person you need to live with and face in the mirror each day. As long as you can respect yourself and become confident with who you are (not someone that needs to be "fixed") you will find a peace and contentment that nothing outside of yourself will ever bring you. Keep fighting :-)

    • Posted

      Thank you and I know you are right about knowledge being poer and living with the face I see each day.  I do or will struggle with the fact that my confidence has been beaten down from the age of about 15-41....I'm now 52...

      ​This will be hard to fight....but I am still fighting.  Thank you for your input.

  • Posted

    hI mISSSY2, iT IS VERY good that you have insight and you are aware of your unreasonable behaviour, I am sure if you apologise and explain that you cant help it.  You could try a prevent strategy, by counting to ten and take deep breaths until you are in control and if you try meditation for 10 minutes per day by closing your eyest and take deep breaths with eyest clothes, turn off all sounds, radio; tv;computers etc.  After ten minutes you should feel calmer and maybe write down how you feel afterwards.  Good luck
    • Posted

      Awe..thank you carmelina...me being quiet for 10 minutes? LOL a chore.

      ​But, I am tryiing and I will keep this advice in mind...the next time I am bored...I sit here for more than 10 minutes bored all the time..so maybe I can give it a shot during one of those timessmile

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