breaking the news

Posted , 2 users are following.

Hello there. I have known about my COPD for a couple of months now. It is quite serious and has caused me to take early retirement. My doctor has advised me to discuss things with my family. I have talked to my ex wife who has been very understanding, but she feels I should be the one to break the news to the kids - well, I say kids, they are young adults now.

Each time I see them I think to myself that I can do this, but I always bottle it, and have got no further than saying I am out of condition to explain my breathlessness. This is the first summer we have not gone camping together, not that they seem too disappointed I have to say, but I know they are wondering what is up with their silly old dad. But my dilemma is how do I tell them. I don't want to distress them and also if I am honest I feel guilty and ashamed as I have brought this on myself and my family. What to do?Galen.

0 likes, 5 replies

Report / Delete

5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Galen


    Its always difficult when newly diagnosed Galen, and I believe as the months pass you will feel more confident and learn to live with COPD.

    The things I can personally advise are if your medicines are not working for you do go back to your doctor or respiratory consultant and let them know. It took 6 months after I was diagnosed before I got the medications that were right for me and helped me breathe better and walk about without too much difficulty.

    [b:9fe2b5b9c9]Two important things that can help you a lot:[/b:9fe2b5b9c9]

    If you are still smoking, stopping is most important. Have you been able to stop smoking yet Galen? There is lots of help available now to help you stop, do ask your GP about this. Also ask your doc about being referred to pulmonary rehabilitation, 2nd most important I feel. (There are posts further down the discussion list for COPD about ways to help ourselves, included PR and when newly diagnosed).

    With regard to telling your children, I do think sooner rather than later, I think it may become more and more difficult for you the longer you delay. Try not to stress about this though.

    You have been diagnosed with COPD, you are not alone, many people have this problem and not all have been smokers, I believe there are many factors involved in how and who gets damaged lungs to the point of being diagnosed.

    You can play it down to your children if you think that's best or you can just tell it how it is. for example, you've been noticing you can't do as much as you once could and you get out of breath easily, you mentioned this to your doc who has prescribed medicine that will help. Your condition is known as COPD Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, this needs a slight change of lifestyle, good diet, regular exercise etc. You need to take more care of yourself and your lungs but hopefully as time passes and you do all those things that are known to help you can still enjoy a reasonable quality of life.

    Its not easy when first diagnosed that is why I feel the two important things as mentioned above will help you the most at this time, do enquire with your GP or consultant about the pulmonary rehabilitation sooner rather than later as it can take 6 months sometimes to get on a course. If you can't access this ask your docs what else is available to help you cope and live with your condition.

    Do read some of the other forum posts and don't hesitate to come back if you have any other queries.

    Good wishes

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Thank you for your kind words V. I also read some of the other information that you have posted. I am struggling with the smoking but I will get there in the end. I noted your advice about the \"PR\" and will ask my GP. I must be off now, I have been staying up too late recently, imagining the worst.

    Thank you for your time, V, you have helped me feel less alone. I will let you know how I get on. Galen

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Good Day Galen

    Don't beat yourself up about smoking but do try and stop, make a list of all the pros and cons about stopping smoking. Some GP surgeries have a cessation clinic run by a respiratory nurse, this just gives you the support and encouragement you need as you go through the process of quitting. Its not easy stopping but it really is the best thing you can do to help preserve your lungs, increase quality of life and it will slow down the progress of COPD and will likely increase the years you have for living.

    There are forums online for quitting too, just put into your browser the words, 'stopping smoking forum'

    I'm wishing you every success.

    Do come back if you are wishing to chat some more, hope you can get on the PR course quickly, it will help you no end.

    Good wishes

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hello there V,

    I would have reported back before today but had my work cut out for me finding my way back to this place - I got a bit lost somewhere i think. Well I told the kids and like you said I played it down for them. I mentioned that I had been told it was time to stop the smoking because it had done damage to my lungs and that I was needing inhalers these days, just like Asthma but a bit different. I couldn't tell them copd just yet, I know they would have been straight on the computer looking it up. Perhaps a year or to down the road. Doing well with the smokes now. I haven't touched one for days so I think I will make it. I think the fear helps to stop the urge for nicotine.

    Right then V i am off to polish my latest crush - she's called Morgan and she's a stunner (4 wheels) lol. Will pass by again soon V if I ever find my way back again lol. Thanks again now for your kindness and help. Galen

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Galen

    Congratulations on finding your way back and on staying smoke free, wishing you every success with both of those smile

    If you do get back, just add this address to your favorites maybe file under health or something similar.

    You did good with communicating to your kin, you can just add bits more information about your condition as and when you feel its right. I think keeping yourself in tip top shape will help you stay actively enjoying life and in doing so your symptoms may be far more manageable.

    Enjoy Morgan smile and thanks for coming back to let me know how you go - looking forward to catching up again whenever you have the inclination.

    Good wishes to you and yours.

    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up