Business loss depression

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Hi

I went through a very stressful business related problem early this year, which resulted in me losing a large building project I was working on for 2 years, along with any proffit. I bailed out and sold it at a loss, thinking that the stress would go away and I'd recover. The stress turned into depression, which I feel guilty about as I am solvent and healthy - things could be a lot worse. The doc tried me on antidepressants and I also tried talking therapy, none of which helped. I'm not sleeping well, I keep waking up and thinking about how things went wrong. I'm also not following my hobbies as I did before (gym, hiking, pubs etc). I think I'm in a period of mourning for my business, which I loved. I wonder if anyone could make some coping suggestions or relate to this in any way. 

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16 Replies

  • Posted

    sometimes in business you need to be pragmatic and accept that you sold it to save a loss and your skin. I hope that you feel up to a challenge again soon.
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    • Posted

      That's true, I sold it to try and save my sanity as the stress and problems at the time were unbearable. I'm looking for new projects to work on, but I feel like I'm funning on 50% of my former mental capacity and don't trust my decisions as I did before. I thrived on my business, an now feel lost without it.

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  • Posted

    Hi Rodders

    I totally agree with the fact you are going through a grieving period.  Your depression could also becoming from the fact you did have to give up something you loved and it has knocked your confidence. The fact you found it too stressful you could be having a lot of negative talk in your head about this..Two years is a very long time to be working on something and to have had to give it up. I would say you put your heart and soul into it and now it is gone..

    It is still very early days Rodders as the stress was very full on and then a slow downward spiral in to depression.. So its going to take time to build yourself up again..

    Small steps trusting and believing that you can get through this.  That you are brilliant at what you do and have just went through a difficult time and understandable its hit you hard.

    You could try Coginitive Behaviour Therapy which teaches you to turn your negative thought process around.. We have a habit of putting high expectations on ourselves and then when something fails we beat our selves up instead of taking credit for what we have achieve and what is to be learnt from the bad experiences..

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    • Posted

      Hi Laura 

      You have summed up how I feel completely. I have a distrust of therapy, as some people who I have spoken to have tried to go back to early life experiences and link current events to them, which I believe to be irrelevant as the problems I have are situational caused by a one off event.

      However I have made enquiries about cbt, and may give it a go if things don't improve much soon.

      A friend said to me recently that what goes up must come down, indicating that it could take the same timescales to recover, ie from the elation and excitement of starting the project to the crisis point, and then back down again. This made a bit of sense to me, and I have been getting slightly better over the months.

      I feel like I've been playing real life Monopoly and have gone back to Old Kent Road, which does take a long time to recover from.

      I've been trying to find another project to work on to 'replace' the lost one, but I'm finding it difficult to get enthusiastic as they are all much smaller, and less viable, but I do need something to fill my time as I have too much time to myself thinking about things too often. I have considered trying to get paid work, but I still have ongoing business issues and can't commit to anyone full time. It seems that I have set my own destiny to be a lone businessman who reaps the rewards but also has to deal with the bad times without any support.

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  • Posted

    You will get there Rodders. Just put the big stick down and accept that not everything goes as planned and you done everything you could possible at that time..

    I get the impression your a bit of a perfectionist and that small projects are not good enough for you due to working on a high level.  Your low mood will have a major effect on your enthusiasm and enjoying things. But small steps at this present moment in time would be better until your mood levels out and you get your confidence back.. You wouldn't want to take anything major on in case it has a detrimental effect on your mental health again or make things worse.

    I can only imagine how difficult it must be as a lone business man the stress most be enormous and especially when things do not go according to plan.. So yes your friend is correct it does take time but you have to believe this is a blip and it will turn around.  But not if your putting yourself under a lot of pressure and strain..

    It wouldn't do any harm to keep a diary of what is going on in your head especially the negative input to try and get a grasp of what your thought pattern is like and to try and put more positve information in.. Especially everything you have achieved and conquered in your business career.  This helps to put things in to perspective.

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  • Posted

    Yes, you are grieving a big loss. Give yourself time to work it through. You can't hurry grief. Get out and do some of your interests and stay active even if you don't feel like it. It will help you feel better. Also, men find a lot of identity in work so find new work that is satisfying, but know that is not your true identity and worth. You are valuable because God made you. Be blessed.

    Cindy

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  • Posted

    I'm struggling again, with depression and more business related anxiety. Every task is taking a long time to complete, and I'm functioning as a shadow of my former self.

    It's been a month off Sertraline now, and I am wondering if I should try something else, although I don't want to be reliant on chemicals. I know that excercise is my answer, but just can't get motivated at the moment.

    I tapered off Sert, and hope that this feeling may be part of the withdrawl, and that it is only temporary - can anyone advise? 

    I tagged this onto my old post so people can see the history of my problem (or should I start a new thread?)

    Rodders

     

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    • Posted

      Hi Rodders,

      Good idea to post with your other thread I think. One step forward two steps back.This won't be a linear recovery. You know what to do and you must keep taking steps. When you fall and have a setback get up, brush off and get back on the horse. It is a process. If you need something to boost your serotonin then that is okay as long as it is only temporary. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are going through something here. Hang in there and post what is happening. Hugs...Cindy

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    • Posted

      Hi Cindy

      That seems to be the pattern, and the bad days can be triggered by some very small issues. Things are gradually getting better though, and I do feel a bit better today. I'm going to do some good exercise today, and will see if that helps (I'm sure it will). 

      Best wishes

      Rodders

       

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    • Posted

      Hi Rodders,

      My brother has suffered tremendous financial strain from business deals gone bad and the banks coming after him. Plus he tends towards anxiety/depression anyway for many years. He is 61and been on and meds for years. .mostly off now. He exercises a lot mostly through mountain biking. He and I are a lot alike in the rumination/what if syndrome which of course only feeds the problem. Also, fear and control go hand in hand. So much we can't control but doing what we can no matter how small and thinking rightly and being thankful does help. Prayer and uplifting music helps me to let the anxiety go. It is a daily process. Blessings to you.

      Cindy

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    • Posted

      Hi Cindy

      You seem to understand how I feel, especially with fear and control. When a business loses control it is frightening, especially if you are the one responsible for everything. It would have been more of a comfort to have a business partner, but I didn't take that route, I tried to do it all on my own.

      How long did your brother take to recover from his problems? There are many posts on this forum but I haven't found any similar business related ones.

      I excercised today for a few hors and feel better for it.

      Best wishes

      Rodders

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    • Posted

      Hi Rodders,

      My brother exercises and eats well but he is still having to manage it because he is still in the throes of it and has been for years. These banks are unrelenting and he has done things to control his resources to keep the bank at bay that have actually made things worse. Sometimes you have to cut your losses but that can be very hard. But, to me, your mental health is more important than anything else. Failure is not the end of the story but an opportunity for growth. Trusting you will do the best you know to do.

      Cindy

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