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Came clean about drinking to my husband last night

Posted , 6 users are following.

sadie_dee70150
sadie_dee70150

Hi guys!

So last night for the 2nd time I have told my husband I need help. I was as honest as I could be with him but I did hold back on revealing everything about my drinking. He knows I have been secret drinking bit thought I'd stopped & even though he thinks I drink a bit too much at the weekend it was in the open. I'm 36 with a 4 year old & I have been using drinking as a way to self medicate I think for the last 13 years. It's not every day mostly at weekends & once I start from the 1st drink I keep going it's all or nothing.

I started this in my early 20s at the beginning of a new relationship with a guy who I didn't have enough confidence around & used alcohol secretly to give me confidence when we met up. The relationship was toxic & I was treated badly & the drinking continued the whole way through I believe to just make it easier to cope. I have carried on with this habit even in my now happy marriage & drink secretly at the weekend. To be honest it's the thing I most look forward to in my life. It's been part of my life for so long my go to place of pleasure. My husband discovers this a few years ago & thought I'd stopped until I told him last night that I have a problem. That I need help that once I start drinking I need to keep going that it's what I look forward to the most that I wait all week until Sat hits so I can drink. I drink openly with him on Saturday & secret drink on Sunday. It's usually only those 2 nights but I drink half a bottle of vodka each of those nights & I have been doing this religiously for 13 years. I'm glad it's out & he told me he suspected I still was drinking more than he thought but felt I had to deal with it bit I have his support now.

I made a doc appointment today. I had made one a few months ago but didn't go. I will go this week but I would like advice as to what to say in case I go blank. I scared this means the drinking will just have to stop - that's it! My social life & friends & hobbies are based around drinking & it will mean leaving that behind to a certain extent & explaining why to my friends. My husband says I should just leave it as it is & see what happens my concern should be myself & my family but I'm worried how much my life will change .

Sadie x

2 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • Robin2015
    Robin2015 sadie_dee70150

    Posted

    well done Sadie Dee for being so honest. You should try and stop completely and I was like you but had twins aged 2 and drinking! i just had to stop since I was also drinking vodka, strong cider and hiding it from my wife...great that you are seeing the GP and well done. Keep us posted of your progress and how you feel. Robin
    • sadie_dee70150
      sadie_dee70150 Robin2015

      Posted

      Thanks Robin! I will let you know how tomorrow goes. I'm feeling ok about the appointment & telling the doc hopefully I'll see it through. It's the embarrassment & shame that find hard to overcome

  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 sadie_dee70150

    Posted

    Your life will change for the best if you are ready.

    I'm not sure your ready because it seems like your hobbies and friends may be taking priority.

    You really have to be in the mindset that alcohol is a no-no for you.

    You can still have friends and hobbies. Actually some of your friends may admire what you are doing for your well being.

    I'm not judging you because I struggle with drinking....and I always beat myself up. I was SO ready to quit 11 years ago and I did quit for 8 years....life and stress I allowed to bring me back to the hell of drinking.

    You really have to have a mindset that you ARE going to do this..NOTHING else matters...and your whole demeanor changes. Its really hard to explain...its called an awakening...and I wish I could have it again...but I don't..its a struggle for me to NOT pick up a drink...and it seems like at this point it is going to be a struggle for you..but just keep thinking about it...trying it and I hope some day it clicks for you.

     

  • sadie_dee70150
    sadie_dee70150

    Posted

    Thank you so much guys for your replies. I have heard of the Sinclair Method but as I am in Ireland it may not be as straight forward to get this. I will inquire though.

    I went to the the doctor today & told her mostly everything that I could in the space of 20 mins. It felt kind of surreal when I did. Her advice was to go to addiction counselling or consider AA. I don't like the sound of AA so opted for the other. She advised that I should abstain from drinking for the moment & stay out of social occasions where drink is involved for the next month. I left feeling uncomfortable. I instantly felt like I can't have a few drinks on a Saturday - I don't have it to look forward to. Am I addicted to that habit - drink - get drunk- eat takeaway. I love to do it. I feel I can give up drinking any other evening but that evening is my one evening of unwinding.

    I lied a little to my husband & told him the doc said I've taken taper down over the next 4 weeks. Have a little less this Sat & so on each week & only drink the one ninth then a weekend of no drinking. I'm just not ready to give up completely as I have only been drinking 2 nights a week anyway I can now cut it to one. The awakening hasn't happened but this is what I can handle. My husband believes it.

    I should have a counselling appointment in the next few weeks as it's a free service but a bit of a waiting list .

    Any further advice ? Am I kidding myself tapering down?

    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 sadie_dee70150

      Posted

      you are scared of stopping completely and that is quite normal. Tricky situation but I doubt that you can simply drink less week per week..look into the Sinclair Method again. I never used it but just stopped but MANY people on this forum really likes it! Robin
    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 sadie_dee70150

      Posted

      Its just very hard to taper sadie....you could do good on 2 days and then the 3rd day say scr*w it...and drink more than you wanted because alcohol changes our thinking!

      I did taper one time successfully but I was so sick physically from drinking that I wanted DESPERATELY to taper and it worked that time.

      Another time after that I tried and it did not work and I ended in hospital for the withdrawal period.

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