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(Sorry for bad English)
So, I had no problem at all except some sleep problems. A dude told me to take this whenever I needed to sleep. Note that I live in Turkey and here you can find this drug almost everywhere without prescription for a single dollar. I went and got a bottle of 10mg pills without any prescription and started taking them. I was clueless what it was and that it might have withdrawal symptoms. ( In fact taking depression seriously is a Western thing. We don't believe it exists. My grandpa always would say that depression comes with bad life decisions and goes away when you fix your life)
Long story short, I would take the pill every now and again and it was very good for I could sleep very easily when taking it. I would take it sometimes once a week and sometimes everyday (not always cuz I normally can sleep by myself). Last time I just got a 25mg cuz 10 wouldn't work anymore. I would sometimes just stop taking them for a long period. Noticed some mood swings and anger and just worrying about everything and decided to stop it a month ago.
I did stop taking them and threw all of them out. I was okay up to 15 days and then I experienced first panic attack in my life. (I am a teacher and had to leave my class)
I started reading about it and found out that I should've tapered down, but since I hadn't been taking them regularly I just didn't buy that. First week after symptoms appeared was the most horrible week of my whole life. Horrible panic attacks and anxiety attacks, stomach upset and nausea, chest pain. Now it's been almost 15 days after symptoms appeared and more than a month after my last dose.
I feel much better. My stomach upset is getting better and I experienced no panic attacks last week. Anxiety is still there tho. Simply when some slight thing happens I get anxious. Like when my girlfriend goes out alone to a crowded or stressful place, I get panicked, or when I call my sister and she, for whatever reason, doesn't pick up first time, I start concentrating on bad possibilities and become very very anxious. I have been unable to take elevator, train, even buss for the first week, but yesterday I forced myself to travel to another city by train and I did. I felt so bad and almost got off in the middle of nowhere, but just kept going and did it. After doing that I felt very very very good like I achieved an amazing thing in life.
Sorry for a lot of detail, I thought I need to do that so some people can get help from my experience. I also have no appetite at all and lost 20 pounds, but noticed some serotonin surge in the last couple of days when I mysteriously started laughing and feeling super good again (which is a good sign), but it went away.
In general, I feel much better. My stomach is less upset and slowly starting eating bigger portions. My anxiety is mild now and hope it all goes away soon.
I also take multivitamins and vitamin D and Omega 3 and B-complex. I also bought what they call serotonin precursor (5-htp) or something like that. I haven't taken 5-htp yet tho. I really am terrified of manipulating my serotonin again and messing with it. Want to keep going that way and if it was unbearable, I might took that 5-htp.
At the end, I want to say to ppl here that just stop taking it if you can. I didn't taper down and wouldn't. I'd rather suck it up all and get rid of it once for all. I will never EVER take any antidepressant for the rest of my life and also I, again, stop believing in anxiety and depression.
Believe in urself when you quit and remember that you'll get better if you persevere. Just let your body take care of its own problems.
Best of luck to all and again sorry fir too much detail.
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