Can a person with psychosis be aware of his illness?

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hello, I have been to a few psychiatrists and I'm now on anti-psychotic and I feel a lot better now. I don't know what my diagnosis is, but my psychiatrist told my partner that I show early symptoms of psychosis or even schizophrenia. Irrational thoughts and fears ruined my life and my social, professional, any kind of life, but right now I feel in control. Irrational fears controled myself and I had episodes where I hurt myself, scream and wanted to die because of my thoughts. In such ''episodes'' I FELT that my thoughts real. (that people are about to hurt me and that I've done horrible things that I actually didn't - I'm some kind of aware of it right now). I didn't feel like myself and felt that I'm not a person, I felt that I am a devil that need to be killed. I feel a lot better now but I can't say that those episodes wouldn't come back in future and I am a little scared. 

I am aware right now that I have a lot of irrational thoughts, but sometimes I FEEL that they are reality, even in theory, I understand that they are strange. What do you think about this?

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  • Posted

    Hi Brandy. I have paranoidschizophrenia and I had absolutely no idea I was ill. I've been in many psychiatric units and met many patients with various psychotic illnesses and non of them where aware of being unwell until their medication took effect. Once they (and myself) started talking therapies to dicuss all things related to the ilness, we then realised what had been going on.

    That said I still dont fully accept that I have this illness. However I can relate to everything you've mentioned above. Horrendous feelings of depression, anxiety, insomia, fear, dread, guilt and shame are currently ruining my life and career. Whatever is going on with us, I hope we find a way forward.

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    • Posted

      Thanks for replay.💖

      Yes, I knew that the way I think is a bit unusual and I really didn't want to believe in things I feel that were real, but again, the way I FEEL didn't change, even though I "understand" that I wasn't in reality.

      I think that medications and my desire for helping myself helped me a lot! I hope that you will be better soon, too! Just believe in yourself. Lots of love!

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  • Posted

    Brandy

    Generally speaking we know there is something wrong with our mental health, you would have known something was wrong wthout diagnosis, for your illness.

    The medications you now take will stablise your condition and help with a so called normal life, the only problem you may have could become irrational at various time periods throughout your life, these periods, rise and fall can be very marked and will destablise your treatments sometimes.

    It is important you follow your Doctors advice regards medications as it will be those that will generally keep you stable

    BOB

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    • Posted

      Thank you for replay.💖

      Yeah, I know that medications helped me a lot and I'm glad that I'm here right now (I have history of attemping suicide). I feel safe on this site. Lots of love

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    • Posted

      Brandy

      We are always here to help,

      If you are at any time suicidal, call NHS Information Line on Tel 111 they are there to help. You also have your GP.

      Very pleased you feel safe here, there are many people on site who you will relate to and will be able to discuss any problems you may have

      Keep a hold

      BOB

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