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I’ve been with my husband for 14 years, married less than two and have a near four year old son with him. Never have I ever questioned our relationship until about 4 months ago he told me he wasn’t sure he loved me anymore. He soon changed his mind and said he knew he loved me but felt a feeling had changed.
We tried marriage counselling for a few sessions and during that time I noticed he was starting to become really withdrawn. He decided he didn’t want to do marriage counselling anymore as felt he needed to sort himself out first and was then diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
For the last few months he has been very up and down. He hasn’t been the same man I married since this has all come out but he varies from shutting himself away in the spare room and being very rude, silent or unaffectionate to me to being fairly nice and occasionally sleeping in our room and having sex ( sorry if too much info).
I am left very confused.
At times he will blame me for his anxiety and depression and say that his feelings aren’t because of the mental illness and that he has mental illnesses because I have caused them. Other days he will blame it on stress caused by his job.
A few months prior to this on occasions he would seem a little off and I would ask him if he was ok an he would say he was tired or something had upset him at work. He tells me he has felt this way about me for about 8 months and has been trying to hide it from me. He sometimes says I have changed. Granted I’m probably not the young woman he met but I’m the same lady to birthed his son and who he chose to marry less than two years ago. It makes me rather angry that he has hidden feelings from me and potentially ruined our marriage by doing so.
Most of the time I’m convinced it’s just his depression and anxiety talking but other times I’m not so sure. Especially when he’s on his rants about how he doesn’t have an illness.
If it’s depression and anxiety how long after his meds settle should I expect to see a difference. He’s only been on them two weeks.
Sorry if this message is a massive babble.
I’m just really struggling to hold it all together at times.
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