Can anxiety/depression effect how you feel for someone?

Posted , 7 users are following.

Need some help! Started dating a guy several months ago we hit it off well but then for several weeks he blew hot and cold with me 1 minute he liked me and wanted to date the next he would cancel plans and tell me he's not ready to be with anyone. After a while he told me he suffers with depression and feels realy low. He then decides he wants things to move forward into a relationship so we did only for him to call it off a few weeks later saying his not in a good mind set and not ready, we barely spoke for a couple of weeks then he apologises and says he wants to be with me so we tried again and for a few months everything was fine and he was the sweetest bf I'd ever had, told me he was falling for me. Then he had the loss of a family member followed by us having a small argument and he then ended it and has gone back to saying he's confused, not in a good mind set and feeling low and not ready for a relationship. What do I do? Is it the depression making him be like this? Or simply him messing me around and not wanting me?

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    If he genuinely has depression then he should see a doctor because they can help him and give him treatment for the depression but unfortunately antidepressants take at least 4-6 weeks to work but if he refuses that then he probably is messing you about but depression isn't something to laugh about because it effects quite a few people

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  • Posted

    Hi Tara. I wouldn't care what the reason I wouldn't want anyone treating me like that much less blame it on depression. He sounds very immature and you deserve the very best. If I were you, I would set some boundaries, say if you can't get in this relationship by 30 days and stop this off and on business I am gone there will be a dust spot where I use to stand. Period. And Tara be gone. Go forward grieve it as fast as you can an find a man deserving of you. 

    Meanwhile back at the ranch work on your self esteem figure out why you are allowing him to treat you this way so you don't allow another man to treat you this way. What do you think?

    Let me know. 

    Diane. 

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  • Posted

    Hi Tara

    I'm sorry for the confusing relationship stuff.

    My experience has been that when my depression is bad I withdraw from everyone and isolate myself. I really don't think he's messing with you. Depression is horrible. I've lost a lot of "friends" for canceling plans at the last minute because I couldn't deal with being social. I could go on and on but the end point is that if he has been the best bf you've had during his good times, try to hang in there. Read as much as you can on depression to help you understand what he is going through. Maybe offer to go see a therapist with him. The loss of a loved one is sure to put anyone in a tailspin too which makes things that much worse. Best of luck to you both.

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  • Posted

    Hi Tara you need to discover if he's telling the truth, if he is he needs help, if he isn't then you need to think do you need him? It's your choice don't let anyone decide what you do, except you.

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  • Posted

    Sounds like he has thing to deal with. His plate is full. He may need time. Depression is a rough disease. It is off and on it can be dibilitating.

    If you really like him you may want to research depression and find out how to deal with it. If it appears to be too much work for you you may want to move on. Best of luck. 

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