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I'll try not to ramble on but I need some advice so Im just going to explain what I can, if you dont know ive had anxiety for a while now and Im 19 years old and i feel i'm becoming depressed, things like death terrify me to the point I feel sick. I found out this woman near me committed sucuide in a hotel room literally 5 minutes from me and its really scared me like what if i get to that point? I really dont want too. I don't want to feel like this forever. I feel like im craving my boyfriends attention and affection also sometimes and I feel like I can be lonely when Im in the same room as him, like he just doesn't understand or care anymore. I don't want to leave him and become more depressed or it could make me better? Its such a hard decision, I do love him but I need to love myself more and I know that. I feel like all this over thinking is going to make me crazy and depressed. I've started to stay at home 2 nights a week now going to see if that'll help but so far it doesnt. I know thousands of people feel the way I do but I cant help but think im the only one sometimes! Does this make sense? I get terrified that i'm going to have a freak out and go crazy and it really scares me which causes my anxiety. I have solutions for when Im feeling anxious and what not such as watching netflix and relaxing but thats a short term solution. I don't want to be older and be depressed or go crazy. Can someone just give me some reassurance of any advice if you have ever felt the same?
I would really appreicate it. xx
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