Can depression/anxiety make you lose feelings?

Hi Harry,

Depression and mental illness in general can absolutely affect your feelings toward your significant other. As you said up above, you don't enjoy anything anymore, so your love life will be affected too because I'm sure it brings you much joy. You say you randomly started having intrusive thoughts about your relationship...do you think you might have ROCD (relationship OCD)? Have you read anything about it online? It's basically where you know you want to be with your partner but you develop these obsessions/intrusive thoughts like "Do I actually love them?" "I found that other person attractive, does it mean I have to leave the relationship?" "The infatuation stage ended. Did I fall out of love?" and the list goes on. These obsessions are then usually followed by compulsions like checking your feelings around your SO all the time, comparing your relationship to other's, seeing how you feel towards other people, etc. Harry, I have been dealing with the same thing for almost a year now, but it is mostly just pure OCD and it has greatly impacted my relationship (my feelings towards it). However, you just need to realize that you DO love your girlfriend or else you wouldn't care and be searching and posting things. Love is a choice and not always a feeling. When the infatuation/honeymoon stage ends, that's when real love begins. Those "feelings" and that "high" in the beginning are not love, they're just chemicals in your brain, which eventually wear off. Once that happens, it's time to put in effort (the free ride is over) to grow real love. This is why there are so many failed relationships nowadays (besides red flag issues), people don't know what real love is anymore and are always chasing that high, which will come to an end in any relationship. It seems like you're in a great, secure, loving relationship, so I would advise that you stick it out if there's truly nothing wrong. If she's someone you see a future with, keep her. I would definitely continue to seek help if you feel you are suffering from a mental illness such as getting therapy and/or going on medication, but just know this is most likely all in your head and not your relationship. 😃

thank you so much! its been really hard for me at the moment, i do also suffer with GAD (generalised anxiety disorder) which makes me over think exceedingly. i am going to speak to someone soon about it and see what i can do. it just feels at the moment i dont love her and these thoughts just came out of nowhere. lets hope i can sort this all out and be with my loving girlfriend 😃

HI HARRY. I WOULDNT DO ANYTHING HASTY. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU LIKE THIS GIRL & SHE SUPPORTS YOU, WHICH IS IMPORTANT TO HAVE WHEN YOU HAVE DEPRESSION. THE DISEASE DOES MAKE YOU UNINTERESTED & NOT MOTIVATED ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS. YOU CAN ALSO HAVE GOOD DAYS WHERE YOU WANT TO DO THINGS & SPEND TIME W/ THIS NICE GIRL. IT WOULD BE A SHAME TO LOSE HER. SOMETIMES FINDING THE RIGHT MEDICATION CAN MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE. YOU CAN READ ABOUT FOODS TO STAY AWAY FROM THAT CAN MAKE THINGS WORSE, like sugar & caffeine. I WISH YOU THE BEST, HARRY.

Hi Harry - you have pinpointed the problem and now all that remains is to deal with it. This may require medications which will help balance your mood. Meds are a tool used in conjunction with therapy to uncover and understand our thought processes. This will take time and is different for everyone. Understand that the depression is what is fueling the negative thoughts about your relationship. Things will get brighter, stick with it.