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i feel like im fighting to survive everyday, but do i even want to survive? not really
iv been dizzy for 14 months straight. im having head spins right now..... this isnt anxiety i have a heart or lung problem. HOW CAN I NOT??? im currently waiting for my cardio appointment near the end of june. Why do we have to wait so long? What if i die before then?
I cant relax for a minute. If i try to relax i have to shake my leg to distract me from the electric current travelling from my chest to my head. I feel like something is pushing my head forward or to the sides. I feel like something is going to come out of my chest. I feel like im malfunctioning. I feel so incredibly bad it just cant be anxiety. I want to kill myself just so i dont feel the physical symptoms.
I cant even stand to brush my teeth. i squat on the floor. squatting while sitting is the only thing that relieves my anxiety. i do it while eating, showering, applying makeup.. and im doing it now while im on the computer chair.
my new doctor said it was very strange and that hes seen a young boy with heart disease do that because it increases the blood pressure in the upper body rather then the bottom.. well thats GREAT! now i really think its my heart
i dont even know where this is going.. can anyone relate?
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