can i just drop dead already?

Posted , 1 user is following.

i feel like im fighting to survive everyday, but do i even want to survive? not really

iv been dizzy for 14 months straight. im having head spins right now..... this isnt anxiety i have a heart or lung problem. HOW CAN I NOT??? im currently waiting for my cardio appointment near the end of june. Why do we have to wait so long? What if i die before then?

I cant relax for a minute. If i try to relax i have to shake my leg to distract me from the electric current travelling from my chest to my head. I feel like something is pushing my head forward or to the sides. I feel like something is going to come out of my chest. I feel like im malfunctioning. I feel so incredibly bad it just cant be anxiety. I want to kill myself just so i dont feel the physical symptoms.

I cant even stand to brush my teeth. i squat on the floor. squatting while sitting is the only thing that relieves my anxiety. i do it while eating, showering, applying makeup.. and im doing it now while im on the computer chair.

my new doctor said it was very strange and that hes seen a young boy with heart disease do that because it increases the blood pressure in the upper body rather then the bottom.. well thats GREAT! now i really think its my heart

i dont even know where this is going.. can anyone relate?

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  • Posted

    Full physical exams are always important before self diagnosing. Panic attacks wont kill you. They feel horrible and can be very debiliatating. What are you doing to deal with all this? Are you in cbt? Therapy? Meds? Accepting whats going on is crucial to begining to manage the disorder and panic really does feel that at times. You have a lot to learn to get to the point of managing them. 
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  • Posted

    iv had a blood test all clear

    head mri all clear

    blood pressure fine

    vertigo head tilt test just done by gp all good

    eyes checked all good

    wisdom teeth checked all good

    iv tried yoga



    chamomile tea

    talking to everyone about it


    no meds yet im too scared

    they arent really panic attacks. its just constant

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