Can I live with pancreatitis

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Hi all. This site has been emotional and at times uplifting to me going over comments on pancreatitis. I say this as a 37 year old Irish lad who has had three bouts of this deadly and misinformed disease. The taboo of the Irish drink a lot applies to me. Like a complete fool I still do it. I can't understand why. I feel helpless. Despondent. Corrupted somehow by the toxin that is alcohol. I empathise with so many on here and yet I still drink. Lost is what I must say. I've twin boys at 17 years old and a great partner. I have read that stem cell research suggests that the pancreas can regenerate and I live for this hope. Daft I know but surely I wonder how I'm to stop drinking and do what you people on here suggest. I'm at my wits end I've necrosis of the pancreas living on the edge. So to all out there I ask for help before I too become a mere statistic. I applaud your wonderful strength and compassion to everyone who commented on the site. I read them all. I am selfish. This is know - if I only had the methodologies etc I would at least try for once. I'm sorry for rambling but my mind is all over the place with this incurable disease. I wish you all the best. God bless you all

Dermot

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  • Posted

    Hi Dermot, I congratulate you for baring your soul, it's not easy.  I think a lot of people read the posts, and it's one reason why I think members of the group should make the effort to post sometimes.  It can provide help, comfort, and a weird sense of camaradarie I suppose.

    I'm not a drinker, never have been, my chronic pancreatitis, they think, is a rare complication of another disease I was born with.  I take it in my stride, just another thorn to accommodate.  I'm sure it's easier to cope with when one's lived with illness all along, a diagnosis popping up out of the blue tends to throw people more.

    What you live with is more difficult I think.  You obviously suffer the guilt of being dependent on alcohol, the impact on your family and yourself of course. 

    I lived with an alcoholic, a wonderful man, very successful with a huge personality and many friends.  He was high functioning, had frequent medical check ups and never suffered any physiological issue associated with alcohol, not one. 

    I often thought he was hoping the doctor would tell him he had some nasty alcohol induced disease actually.  Why else would he look so disappointed after a glowing medical report.  But what difference would a negative report have had really, would it shock him into stopping drinking, is that what he thought or hoped, who knows.

    He suffered terribly emotionally.  He would shed tears behind closed doors for the problems he caused others, his children especially.  He was in and out of rehab, that aspect of his life was miserable. 

    No-one could help him, no-one ever can help another with dependency issues really, they have to make the decision to stop and that usually only occurs when they hit rock bottom the mysterious 'they' say.  What is rock bottom though, how does one know when they've reached it?  I don't have a clue really, it's different for everyone I think. 

    Perhaps your post is your rock bottom.  It's raw and open and heartfelt and I can sense your anguish.  Everything worthwhile in life requires a lot of personal effort, you're worth it, look at your partner and your boys to see the truth of that.

    Once you make a decision you can focus on yourself in a positive way, your health, your diet, your family.  Nothing will change if you don't start. 

    I hope we hear from you again Dermot.  I know I've been a bit personal and I hope you don't take offence.  Take care and good luck.

     

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  • Posted

    I think the previous poster said it all really - no-one but you can make the decision to stop drinking. If you have pancreatitis you just have to. It's not easy but you have a partner and kids so how about putting them first instead of yourself. I know that sounds harsh but any kind of dependency is ultimately selfish and that's what you're being by continuing to drink.

    I know what it's like to be the sober one on a drinking culture. I was never a big drinker but I did like a glass of wine with a meal or out with friends. I miss it. But I value my life and my relationship more than I do alcohol. Also sticking to a virtually fat free diet is tough too - it means eating out is extremely difficult and you never know, however caref you are, that it may lead to a flare. Until you are struck by this awful condition, you don't realise how much of the social side of your life is made up of eating and drinking.

    Be strong. Acknowledge you have a debilitating condition and only you can control it. You can manage without drinking. It's tough but you can do it. Anyone who tries to shame you into drinking ("ah, go on - just the one"wink is not your friend. But ultimately it is up to you. You'll be amazed what you can do if you put your mind to it. And ask for help - you've already reached out here. Lean on your support. I have amazing friends and a wonderful husband who go out of their way to make sure the disruption to my life is minimal. Find your strength and use it.

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  • Posted

    Hi Dermot I can absolutely identify with you .I have Chronic Pancreatitis as you may have read earlier.It is a debilitating illness and all I seem to have to look forward too is death.I feel so alone with this illness always in pain and I look 10months pregnant due to the inflammation. I stopped drinking for 15months and now allow myself a little drink I could not carry on alone with no help what so ever .So I figured why keep worrying and not being able to join in occasionally on a social drink.I was tying myself in knots full of guilt but now we know that this disease is progressive I will let fate decide my future and try to chill out instead of letting my mind take over. I did this to myself drink was my crutch to cope with life and still is although I tried.I have no excuses but plenty of reasons. I too have a 22year old Son of which I adore but I will not live my life out in fear constantly.Why we continue to take alcohol is that life is hard and so many feelings come into the fact we chose that path a long time ago.Many regrets as you may have too but the way I see it there is nothing I can do now.I don't know if you have acute pancreatitis or chronic pancreatitis but acute can be reversed it's too late for me.My best wishes for your future I shed no tears for myself.😀👍

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    • Posted

      Your post makes me sad nades.  I'm trying as best I can to stay well and you're telling me that because CP is progressive I should give up, let nature take it's course, enjoy harmful pleasures because, because 'why not' it's all downhill from now on.  

      Saying you've had some bad experiences is just an excuse nades, a common dependent personality trait.  

      I've had some challenges too, all of us have had difficult situations to deal with and just because we haven't all dived into a bottle or taken up some other negative lifestyle choice, doesn't make yours a special case.

      Many people who initially adopted your philosophy have also taken the difficult step out from under the power of those influences.  Every day is hard for them, they don't need someone scratching away at their resolve.

      If you want to feel better, happier, healthier, stop being selfish, stop seeking sympathy by telling and retelling tales of woe to whoever is within preaching distance and then blanking out the memories with alcohol.  Stories stay alive and clear as long as we repeat them and I have a feeling yours are crystal.  

      It's a good idea to stop repeating them to yourself too, switch channels whenever the thoughts arise.  Have default topics you go to, positive ones, eventually the sad, bad, stories will fade away.   And let's not get into the whole, "but I don't want to forget because" dance, you know what I'm saying.

      Own it nades, you drink because you'd prefer to do that more than you want to be well and you're teaching your still impressionable 22 year old son that giving up is ok.  Congrats, lose, lose, don't you feel proud?

      And btw, I have an inkling about why you look 10 months pregnant.  It's yeast.  Better accept it as a permanent look, no chance you'll give up a drink to be rid of it I'm guessing.

      I too had that problem which came along with the pancreatitis.  I make my own bread because I have issues with preservatives but wasn't making sour dough, just regular loaves using yeast.  I switched to sour dough and the bloating gradually disappeared.  It makes sense, think about it.

      So buy sour dough loaves and see how you feel, the drink may negate the effect but you might feel a little better, miracles happen.

      I'd love to hear your miracle story one day nades, I'm hoping you'll have one to share.  I know I've been harsh, I'm prepared to own it just the same. Fire away.

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    • Posted

      Hi Yes I do have a very bad outlook on life at the moment.How dare you say I'm necking a bottle or any thing else.This site I thought was to support people with pancreatitis of which I was trying to say he can get better.I went into hosp before found out had been ill for years but didn't say anything to a soul.Know why because I do actually love my son and my best friend of whome is taking care of me.I shall have to go home at some point and living alone at home scared me now.I have no support of family there is only my son and best friend (71 with own health problems)there for me and I will protect them from anything. Thankyou for making me cry I just wanted to talk to someone who understood what I'm going through Perhaps I should leave this site.Thankyou all who have been kind to me.Pancreatic swelling due to pain and inflammation I barely can eat.Sorry for my negativity but I am struggling too.Lonliness and stress is a big killer too.

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