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So i reach out for some helo and get a counselor who ends uo at first talking about himself and in the second session tells me im too negative and need to speak with a more intense therapist. The same person actually right before that tells me it appears i have a bad experience with a therapist as i dont trust them. What was that? So i call another one, a dr. As well as a therapist who then tells me to make sure my hormones are okay as at my age they arent. I told my doctor and he didnt really seem to be interested in that as he checked the standard t ones and they were normal. So i finally find two physchiatrist in my area and both are filled up. I did get a call back from one who said she can evaluate me but people seem to like to talk and she has no time for that. What do i now really. I feel like im wasting all my time on these too busy, leave me alone kind of doctors. Everyone says to reach out for help but only on the internet do i see prudent doctors discussing what needs to be done. Im trying to do this on my own. I am getting by but getting by is all i am doing so far. I metabolize drugs very slowly which leads me to end up with side effects then usual. Which annoys doctors more because if you arent in the typical average area of metabolizing medications they dont work as planned. Then i have to deal with them thinking im making up the side effects. Which i do not and would not. I have bad gerd and some medicines really destroy me. My own dr who i have known most of my life knows this but says it is very hard to treat me, he understands the situation but its hard when it comes to certain meds and chronic health issues because of the way my body reacts. I feel frustrated. I have seen alternative doctor years ago but now i cant afford one anymore. I feel like a burden to others and myself. I myself am annoyed with how my body reacts to medicines and the fact i have oanic attacks is frustrating. I feel very alone in my journey thru this. My husband has never experienced an anxiety attack so he has no clue whats going on and just feels im ruining my life and everyones around me with my condition. There are days i feel i can push through and do meditations and self talk a lot. I have prayed and i am trying but i need to see results.
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